A STUPID Amount of Work

I really just have too much work at the moment — it’s a STUPID amount of work.

I hate to say it, but in retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have run for school board, given how much of a time commitment it is to do it (at least the way I do it, with reading the board docs in advance, asking questions, doing additional research every two weeks on new questions that have come up, etc). I have an overdeveloped sense of social responsibiilty, which is undoubtedly one reason why I have received more community service awards than literary awards. Sigh.

I’m managing (Daddy, don’t fret, I’m basically fine), but with my parents’ eldercare needs also unexpectedly sucking up time this fall, my prior plans to try to address my workaholic tendencies (tendencies which got a lot worse post-cancer, unsurprisingly, because mortality started breathing down my neck) are progressing very slowly.

For a lot of the last few years, I’ve been so harried and overworked that I literally haven’t felt like I had the time to sit and talk to friends (or even Kevin) about how overworked I have made myself. I managed to sit and talk to Roshani over tea for 90 minutes yesterday morning without any work in my hands and without feeling guilty about it, which is something.

On the other hand, I’ve slept badly the last three nights because I have too many hanging e-mails and other tasks, and they keep me from falling asleep and wake me up early, which is not helpful, because then I don’t think or work as well the rest of the day. Sigh. Stupid brain. I’m going to go exercise shortly, in the hopes of tiring my body out enough that it sleeps better tonight.

Yes, I know, I could use therapy to help with the workaholic tendencies. It’s in the queue, but finding a therapist with time right now is not so easy; everyone is coming off a traumatic worldwide disaster, you know? We all probably need therapy. And also finding time to GO to therapy…

But I’ve been making more time to talk to Kevin and other friends the last few months, which has helped. It’s a good sign that I’ve felt like cooking again, which for a while, was just beyond me. I should be able to convert the last two Acts of my current screenplay pilot this week, fingers crossed, and hopefully implement the final two hours or so of edits on the novel (which have been hanging since MAY, which is clearly fear of some sort, gah).

I’m hoping to do some gardening this weekend too, as it warms up a bit; try to get the garden in decent order before it really gets cold. And I’ve been snuggling and watching a fair amount of Ted Lasso with Kavi (her first time around, my second), which is very nice.

Cook / write / garden / craft / talk to friends / snuggle with kids –> sanity for me.

Sometimes, virtue is rewarded. I made extra chai spice banana bread mini loaves on the weekend, when I was baking for the Patreon treat boxes (mostly because we had a LOT of black bananas in the freezer)…

…and sometimes that means that the daughter who worryingly tends to skip breakfast on school days actually pauses long enough to cut herself some banana bread, slather it with butter, and eat it on her way to school. Makes a mama’s heart happy.

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