Got e-mail from Sage this morning, pointing out that the reason the diary count had gone up was probably because she just added my pages to her diary list. Good point. Was interesting reading her review -- she raises some of the same points that I address in the March 1st entry, about why I keep this journal if I'm editing so much out -- what I get out of it if not emotional release. Hmmm...aside from what I've already said, I should add that I do get some emotional release -- I feel as if I have some invisible friends out there (and not the kind that would get me locked up :-). I've enjoyed living in Philly, and there are a lot of neat people here to hang out with, but I left most of my close friends in Chicago. I can call them, of course, but phone calls get expensive. I'm waiting for the day when those netphone things are a practical, affordable reality. In the meantime (and probably afterwards), you all provide a different sort of sounding board -- less of a place to dump relationship problems (which I still feel somewhat iffy about, given that my parents' friends read this :-), among other people) and more of a place for more abstract emotional concerns (like that political rant I did a while back), and day to day chatting. Anyway, this whole paragraph is rather disgustingly self-absorbed, even for a diary, so onward... (Actually, if you pay close attention, and really care, you probably could figure out a great deal of what I don't explicitly say...)
Last night was weird. Got lazy and made fettucini with chicken and a pre-made alfredo w/mushrooms sauce. Good, but a) very unhealthy and b) I probably could have made the sauce for cheaper with very little more work. Oh well....can't be virtuous all the time. I really have to get back to the dance classes, though -- Tai chi is on Sunday and beginner jazz on Monday. Couldn't do it last week, obviously, since I was in Orlando, but no excuses this week. :-) I must and will go to at least one of them...(I've been fighting 10-15 pounds all my life it seems...it would be nice this summer to have one of those bodies that makes men drool :-). It's in my reach, if I just work at it some - but oh, I am so lazy about exercise...
Hmmm...reading that paragraph makes me realize that I got completely sidetracked from what was weird about last night. I spent the evening in a strange, tense emotional state, but couldn't say exactly why. I couldn't think of a good reason to drag Kevin away from the tv to talk to me (good episode of Friends last night -- Ross and Rachel's first kiss, which I had missed the first time around), but wanted to anyway. Sort of. Eventually did (though I waited until the reruns of Frasier and Mad About You were on (we watch too much tv!)) and felt somewhat better. Went to sleep. Woke up around midnight (and I usually sleep very soundly) with hellish mosquito bites (I HATE HATE HATE mosquitoes. I would gladly exterminate them all from the face of the earth, with great rejoicing. They, on the other hand, seem to adore me), extremely warm, and with racing heartbeat. Very very weird. Took forever to go back to sleep (though I feel fine today). I think I may be on too high a dosage of my thyroid meds -- I think hyperthyroidism (the opposite of what I have) has symptoms similar to those. Will have to check with doc. Nuisance, is what the whole darn thing is...though I guess I should be thankful that I've been as healthy as I have.
Finished 3 more grad school apps yesterday. Emerson and Mills and Boston U. Think good thoughts for me, guys -- I don't know what I'll do if I don't get in somewhere. I refuse to spend another year doing secretarial work -- it drains the soul, even if it does provide lots of writing time.