I can’t sleep. I tossed…

I can't sleep. I tossed and turned all night, and finally gave up around 4 and just got up.

Kavi turned three last May, and starts Montessori preschool today. Anand is going to start too, since it's a daycare/preschool combo. Our budget has been getting tighter and tighter (as the renovation costs mysteriously rise -- why does the Village require drain tile under our mudroom?), and we just can't afford full-time nanny care for both of them at home anymore, so it was a choice between about 15 hours/week of nanny, or full-time daycare. And in theory, we could do the former, given our schedules and when we have to be away from home, but in practice, it's really clear that we wouldn't get even half of our work done with that little childcare. So, daycare/preschool.

I'm sure Anand will be fine; he's a pretty placid baby, and goes easily to other people. Kavi, on the other hand, is a bit of an emotional, weepy child, especially in the last few weeks with all the moving and travel and changes. Sometimes she seems excited about starting school, but sometimes she says she doesn't want to go. I'm sure there will be tears this morning, and quite possibly clinging to my leg.

Everyone assures me that that is normal, and fine, and that almost certainly within three minutes of my leaving, Kavi will be just fine and playing with other kids. And I'm pretty sure that's true. But just the thought of those three minutes is almost more than I can stand. I don't want to make my little girl cry.

Do you remember when she was just this big?

Now I have to go find a Sharpie and write their names on everything.

One thought on “I can’t sleep. I tossed…”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *