Well, we’ve decided not…

Well, we've decided not to take the job in Oxford. It was a very tough decision, and a really close call. In the end, a combination of factors including fierce housing prices in the area, the effort required of a transatlantic move, the potential risk of the situation (we might move, and hate it, and it would be impossible to guarantee that we could move back to a desirable location in the States, given the academic job market), and finally, distance from friends and family, all ended up outweighing the undeniable appeal of the position.

It's interesting, because I think five years ago, we would have gone, no question. Maybe even two years ago. But we're older and things have changed for us. One big thing in particular, which did influence our desire to be close to friends and family...[drum roll, please...]

I'm pregnant! Currently twenty-three weeks along, with a due date of May 28th, and according to all the testing so far, it's going to be a healthy baby girl. Yay!

We took a long time coming to this decision to try to have a kid, and to be honest, even after five months, I think Kev and I are both still adjusting our minds to the changes this will bring to our lives. Big changes and small -- among other things, I'll be missing WisCon this year (sad) and I've had to bow out of teaching at Clarion this summer (even sadder), since I doubt I'd be much good to the students while trying to cope with a baby that's only a few weeks old. I don't know yet whether I'll be teaching full-time or part-time next year; that depends on how the rest of the job stuff works out. Though thankfully, with both of us in academia, even if we're both full-time that still leaves us lots of time with baby. We probably will need a bit of child care, though -- recommendations in Chicago's Wicker Park area are welcome. :-)

Sorry I've had to keep this news quiet for so long -- at first we wanted to wait until we were through the high miscarriage potential in the first trimester (and we knew the risks for Downs, etc. weren't too bad). And then even after we knew that, we still had job market concerns, and it's only this past week that we've decided that while we're still looking at various other jobs in the U.S., it's unlikely at this point that any of them will be affected by knowledge of the pregnancy. But fear not -- I *have* been keeping a secret journal about the pregnancy, and as soon as I have a chance to go through it and make sure all the details are fit for public consumption, I'll link to it here, so you can hear all my pregnancy woes and worries. There's certainly been a lot of fretting along the way...

But mostly, we're just happy, and excited, and crossing our fingers for a smooth delivery and a healthy baby at the end of it. Wish us luck!

23 thoughts on “Well, we’ve decided not…”

  1. Wow! Congratulations, guys! I have indeed been wondering about the light posting in recent weeks, and had even started to worry about it. I’m so glad that this was the reason. You guys are going to be such great parents, and I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

  2. Wow, two shocks in one post. Congratulations!! I wish you an uncomplicated pregnancy and delivery. I’m sure you’ll be as wonderful a mother as you are a person.

    Wonderful news indeed, I couldn’t be happier for you.

    Jim

  3. The Oxford gig did indeed sound to me like something for people who are a bit less settled in than you two. I completely understand why it took a lot of oomph to turn it down though. Oxford!

    The other news is clearly the bigger one, and the tougher decision to have made. Congratulations! I have no doubt that you’ll do great.

  4. Super Congrats! Pregnancy did come to mind when you said you’d gone to the hospital, been sick, etc.
    I’m so happy for you. Yes. A huge adjustment. Yes, sometimes difficult. But so fun. Son is starting to read and we have great conversations. But I miss the baby stage. Sometimes.
    Congrats. She will be adorable! Can’t wait to see her!

  5. Mary Anne,

    My best to you and Kev.

    I had to say, I’m a member of sawnet, so I knew. But traditionally in my own family, being Desi and I, no one tells anyone until they’re showing, especially with their first baby. I was worried about you these past few weeks but I am so glad all is well.

    Lots of hugs and luck,
    S

  6. [Shmuel comes very close to spewing Diet Pepsi all over his monitor]

    COOL! B’sha’ah tova! (May it be at a good time!)

    [excited hop!]

  7. Though I’m sorry you had to turn down to Oxford, I’m thrilled you’ll be staying Stateside. I’ll try and make the decision worthwhile by spoiling Baby rotten!

    I miss Ellie 🙁

  8. YaY!! Mary Anne 🙂

    Congratulations and best wishes to you and K.

    I’d heard from you about the pregnancy on Sawnet and SALA and worried when i heard that you had been to the hospital. Glad to hear everything is okay. Can’t wait to read the rest of your pregnancy journal. I have been reading magic cookie (http://magiccookie.blogspot.com/)
    and the whole baby thing sounds quite thrilling.

    I agree that with a new baby on the way, staying ‘in place’ sounds more sane. But please don’t count Oxford as a lost opportunity–i’m sure there’ll be other offers again sometime, and when you’re well settled into your parenting mode, you may feel more adventurous.

    love and best wishes…

  9. Heh. For those wondering, ‘thangachi’ is a Tamil word meaning ‘little sister’ — that’s my sister Sharmila posting above, who was just visiting us a few days ago and got to meet Ellie for the first time. She agrees that Ellie may be the best puppy ever. 🙂

    And I hope y’all don’t feel left out, those of you who are just finding out about baby and realizing that others knew. I posted to SAWNET, the S. Asian women’s network mailing list a while back about it, because I was trying to figure out what it would be like raising a mixed race child in England, and I figured some of the folks there would know and be able to give me good advice (which they did).

    I’ve also slowly been telling folks about the secret journal when I was feeling in need of advice, especially my friends who are recent parents themselves. But it doesn’t mean I don’t love you guys too! 🙂

  10. Congratulations! That’s fantastic news. And btw, May 28 is also my birthday and I can tell you it has never once rained on my birthday in my entire life. So there’s some fantastic birthday weather-luck for anyone born on that day! 🙂

  11. Dear Mary Anne Mohanraj,
    Congratulations on an adorable addition. I didn’t know. I looked up rest of the site when my following mail to you failed delivery:

    I am a visual artist. I have for some time been combining painting and video in my work. More recently I showed at the Venice Biennale and in New York where the work was well received with reviews in the The New York Times , Village Voice, Art in America etc. plus year-end best-of 2005 in New York Times as well as Village Voice. Some of my erotic work ( I prefer sexual rather than erotic) can be seen in the outdated :

    http://www.anothersubcontinent.com/kaleka.html

    http://www.rkaleka.com/paintings.htm#

    At the moment I am making a permanent piece on the Holocaust for the new Jewish Museum building ( the Spertus) in Chicago which opens in September 2007. I initially refused the offer for obvious reasons ( Israeli states treatment of the Palestinians), but now I hope to shift the Jewish-centric preoccupation with the subject in my new installation.

    I very much liked your Silence and the Word, and seek your permission to use it with due credit in a video installation where I will combine painting and video in a single work. You will always be credited where ever in the world the work may be shown.

    Please let me know.

    Warm wishes from Delhi,

    Ranbir

  12. We’re sorry you won’t be coming to England, it was a pleasure meeting you and you have made a wonderful addition to English fandom. But a baby girl on 28 May is undoubtely going to be brilliant – and if she can wait a couple of days to share my birthday she’ll certainly be a star. 🙂

    Clarion will come round again, and so will Wiscon. See you there and then with a new little feminist, then. 🙂

  13. I’m thrilled to hear the news; never apologize for keeping news like this under wraps until you’re ready.

    Here’s hoping for a continuing healthy pregnancy and an equally healthy delivery. I do wish you luck; parenthood is just astonishing.

    Childbirth is, too, but let’s not dwell on it.

  14. Wonderful news Mary Anne! I couldn’t be happier for you and Kev. So not this year — but perhaps next year there should be a special panel at Wiscon for all the new (and mostly new) parents: Dora Goss, you, Barth Anderson. It’s lovely to think of that next generation among us.

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