Since I completed lost…

Since I completed lost it on the phone with Jed earlier tonight, I think that it behooves me to warn y'all that for the next four weeks or so, I am likely to be more than a little fragile and easy to set off. We knew this spring would be hellish, and it mostly has been, due to lack of sleep + extra-heavy teaching load. Spring break helped a little, but out of 11 days of break, I spent one day resting, one day socializing, and the rest of the days pretty much working straight through. And I'm still not quite caught up, and I haven't managed to find time to put my or the children's clothes away in close to a week. (They're clean, but on beds, falling on the floor, etc. Drives me crazy.) And we're going to have to move out of here -- probably not 'til mid-June, but it's still stressing me out. And we're still not sure what the final budget on the house is -- we'll know by midday Wednesday, but that's making me stressed and panicky, because I suck at dealing with money, especially not having enough of it, and while we have a lot to work with, it certainly won't be as much as we would like. I'm going to have to give up some things I had hoped to do, and that's sad and stressful. And there are kazillion decisions to make for the house in the next month, which ought to be fun, but with so much money riding on the decisions, it's a lot less fun, somehow. I'm terrified of choosing the wrong countertop material, or the wrong flooring, especially since one decision informs another, cascading colors and materials, so one bad decision might end up meaning a dozen bad decisions, which we'll then have to live with for thirty years because we're not going to have any money left after this renovation. So I want to do more and more and more research to try to minimize the chance of making a mistake, but I'm pretty much running out of time for researching. And for whatever reason, Kavi has been waking up a lot at night, and waking me up, so I'm super-short on sleep again, which is not helping anything. I think I've gotten 8 hrs sleep...umm...once in the last two weeks? Maybe? And now we're heading into the part of the semester where I don't have lecture notes, so more prep for every class. And the students will start stressing out about their final grades, which means more appointments and less time. And I've had oh, about 15 hours of writing time since Anand was born. Anyway, I could whine a lot more, but the main point is that I am stretched pretty thin, and likely to be stretched thinner in the next month. So please consider this fair warning, that if you ask me for much of anything before the end of April, there's a good chance I'm going to bite your head off.

I promise to be nicer in May.