It's difficult to take in, to absorb the scope of this endeavor. It's by far the largest writing project I've ever undertaken, and I wish I knew how many words I've written in its service. I know it's consumed countless hours, all well spent.
Through this journal, I've gotten to know so many wonderful people. You've helped me celebrate my triumphs over the years, and given me help and advice and consolation in my darker hours. There have been times in my life when I felt entirely alone, and the only solace was to come here and write in this journal, knowing that somewhere, out there, people were listening.
My life has changed so much since I started writing here. In late 1995, I was an English major who had been rejected from all the graduate schools I'd applied to the previous year, and was about to be roundly rejected from a large set of MFA programs as well. I had only the faintest glimmerings of hope that I might someday be a real writer, and I certainly didn't expect that I'd actually be able to make a living at it. I know that in large part, my persistence in pursuing that dream was supported by the encouragement of all of you, reading this journal.
My love life over the last decade has been so complex that I can't even attempt to summarize the changes in it here, but to the extent that I've felt free to talk about it in the journal without impinging on others' privacy, your support was very welcome.
In the last ten years, I've taken on more and more projects and responsibilities, to the point where this year, I completely broke down, unable to cope. Maybe the past decade was for learning how to take things on, to aspire and work hard towards a set of goals, and the next decade will be for learning how to let those goals go again, or at least learning how to balance them in a sane and healthy way. It's impossible for me to say right now. But I'm glad that some of you will be with me on the journey.
Thank you all for reading. And for those of you who have read the entire journal, whether you've been with me from the beginning, or are merely compulsive enough that, having found these pages, you went back to the beginning and read all the way through, I'd like to give you a more tangible gift.
To claim your gift, I'll need you to do two things for me. If you've read this entire journal, all ten years, please:
- Post a note (you can do so anonymously, if you prefer) in the comments to this entry, telling me why you keep reading. There are times when I feel like I've gotten incredibly dull, times when I have no idea why anyone bothers to read these pages. It'd be nice to know some of your reasons for reading. What is here for you?
- After posting, please e-mail me your address, and also please note if you already have a copy of Bodies in Motion (or any of my other books). I've asked my publisher if they can spare some books for me to give away -- if not, I may come up with something else to send you. I'd hate to duplicate something you already have.