Orientation is…

Orientation is stressful, for me at least, wanting to make a good impression on various and sundry people, hoping these colleagues who you'll be working with day in and day out, possibly for the rest of your life (given the academic tenure system) will like you. They don't have to love you, but it would be nice if they liked you, if they smiled to see you in the hall, if they didn't think you were a big jerk. I kept trying to rein my tongue in, to not talk too much, but despite all my best efforts, I still think I talked too much, and too loudly. I'm pretty sure I asked more questions than anyone else. Argh.

I'm just enthusiastic, and super-excited about the possibilities of this job, hoping I can do good teaching, and be of good help with admin and growing the program -- I am bursting with ideas right now, and I need to rein them in. There's still so much for me to learn about the department and how things work at Roosevelt. There will be time for finding out which of my ideas are feasible and/or desirable. It doesn't all have to be done at once. But tell the back of my brain that. It's not listening to me.

I couldn't sleep last night; just dozed, off and on, for much of the night. Every time I woke, I felt my heart start to race. I don't think I would have even managed dozing if the tv (volume set very low) hadn't helped. Despite my current exhaustion, I'm still tense and revved up right now, even though orientation is over and there isn't anything more to do for school until next Tuesday (well, except for various small bits of paperwork). Must calm down somehow. Will try exercise next I think, and hope that does some good.