I'm going to miss her. I'm missing her in advance.
I'm very tempted to blow off classes today and stay home with her. Not that we'd actually be socializing, but I do have work piling up, and I have some deadlines today that I could maybe make if I scrambled now but that I will do a better job with if I can take all day. My throat is sore and scratchy; not enough to force me to stay home, certainly, but enough that I can talk myself into believing that it wouldn't hurt to do something restful for most of the day. I do have to go into campus around 4:30 -- I have a fellowship application to hand in before 5, and I have a meeting at 5:30 anyway that I can't really miss. But there's a lot of time between now and then where I could be productive. We'll see what I think after having tea, but I suspect I'll be staying here.
Snippet from phone conversation with Jed:
Jed: "Hi! Happy Valentine's Day!"
Me: "To you too!"
Jed: "I can't really stay on the phone..."
Me: "That's okay, neither can I..."
That's probably only mildly amusing. But then you add in Kevin's call twenty minutes later:
Kev: "Happy Valentine's Day!"
Me: "You too!"
[silence for a bit, then me again, saying:]
Me: "You just called because you knew you were supposed to, right?"
Kev: "Pretty much."
Me: "I'll get Karina..."
And, reported from Karina:
Kev: "Happy Valentine's Day!"
Karina: "Happy Valentine's Day to you too!"
[silence again...followed by Karina gently letting him get off the phone]
There might have been a few more phrases in there, but that was the gist. My guys may not be romantic, but at least they're dutiful and aware of the proprieties. Though I have to remind them of them the day before. You'd think that would make it stop being sweet, but somehow it doesn't. I guess I'm just easy. Someone could probably pull lint out of his pocket and hand it to me, saying "I got it just for you..." and I'd go "Aww...." Karina and I were amused over Kevin's call for hours afterwards.
We did have some people over last night, btw. I cooked desserts (trademark cranberry white chocolate chip cookies, lemon bars out of a box, red velvet cake out of a box with cherry pie filling layers and grated chocolate and powdered sugar on top) and we ordered pizza. We had thought about playing a game, but the seven of us just chattered instead. It was good. I got to spend some more time with Erin and Jeff, from my department, whom I really like a lot. With any luck, they'll decide they like me too, and we'll see more of each other. It's interesting -- I do still have some of the same anxieties about socializing, being liked, etc. that I did in high school -- but somehow they don't affect me nearly as much. It's good. I don't think I'd go so far as to call it the wisdom of age...but I think I can fairly call it 'having perspective'. It's interesting how as you get older, the body falls down but the spirit climbs up. I really appreciate that. I really appreciate a lot of things that I didn't used to. It's good.