I was reading over my entry for yesterday and realized that I sounded kind of self-satisfied and smug in it. Like my life is going so great that I don't have anything to worry about. Which is a funny impression to give. A better assessment might be that I'm still surprised by how well the last year has gone -- and I *think* I know some of the reasons why it's gone well, and how I think I can keep some of that going, but I'm not at all sure, and a lot of me is just crossing my fingers and hoping it keeps up.
One thing that definitely did go badly last year was my body. Oh, I finally had health insurance last year, so I got to the doctor and had my thyroid levels checked, and now I'm on double the dose I was on before. Which is good, I suppose -- it helps explain where those fifteen pounds came from in the last three years. But y'know -- I can't blame it all on the hypothyroidism, much as I'd like to. Last fall was insane, and I ate a lot more junk food than I normally do. And I missed Kevin, which made me mopey, so I just plain ate more than I normally do. And because I was running frantically most mornings to get to class on time, it was too easy to talk myself into jumping on the bus instead of doing that half hour walk...
Anyway. Point is that I *really* have to stop neglecting my body. And something I read recently (in a Mercedes Lackey book, of all things, talking about weapons-training, I think), reminded me that I don't *have* to do a full organized workout on a regular schedule to do my body some good. That no training is ever wasted -- which means that if I spend five minutes jumping around in my kitchen to Chip's bagpipe music, while reading my morning journals, that's better than lying on the couch reading them. And if I look silly, who the heck cares? Yet another advantage to living alone...
Interestingly, I also discovered today that clothing makes a huge difference to my desire to dance. I met with a lawyer today to talk about Strange Horizons incorporation, so I actually shed my pyjamas, showered, and dressed in real person clothes. Which happened to be a black leotard-type top, a long black skirt, black knee-high socks, and my new black boots. I threw a grey cardigan over the whole thing for warmth, but when I got home again, I took that off. And y'know -- it's the sort of outfit a dancer would wear. And while I most surely do not have a dancer's build, dressing like this makes me feel like a dancer. It reminds me of all those modern dance classes I took in college. It has me rising up onto the balls of my feet (I took off the boots when I got home too) and sliding down again, stretching my hamstrings. The clothes and music have me lifting a leg out behind me while I type, balancing and stretching and remembering that once upon a time, I could lift my leg straight up in front of me until it touched my nose. I might not be able to get down to the weight I was as a freshman in college -- but I bet I could get most, if not all, of that flexibility back. That'd be cool. So, here are some more concrete plans for taking care of my body -- trying to stay within the bounds of reasonable expectations, rather than grandiose dreams. :-)
- If my body feels like walking to class, then walk. Never mind that I
could get fifteen more minutes of work done if I took the bus. The work
will keep. Similarly, any time I feel like stretching, or dancing, or
doing *anything* with my body -- go for it. It happens rarely enough that
it should be encouraged and taken advantage of.
- Don't buy junk food at the grocery store. Don't take cash to campus,
because if I do, I *will* buy junk food. If I must be weak, then I will
at the least buy the low-fat or non-fat version of the junk food, which
generally tastes weird enough that it won't encourage me to do that so
often. Buy vegetables at least twice a week. (This may not seem like a
lot to you, but I'm *really* lazy about veggies -- most of the time I just
make rice and a chicken dish). Try to make one of them green. This week
it's cauliflower and green beans. (One problem is that the only green
vegetable I know how to curry is green beans. Any suggestions?) Buy fish
every time I buy chicken. If I need to spend a little more on a tasty
gourmet ingredient in order to entice myself to cook, go for it. It's
better than looking in digust at the contents of my fridge and ordering
pizza.
- Brush and floss at least twice a day. Really, dammit. No more
excuses. (This one is actually a long story, that I don't have the energy
to tell right now. Another day. Suffice it to say that my gums will kill
me if I don't start flossing regularly. They will rise up in revolt.)
- Speaking of energy -- sleep. Sleep eight hours a day. I don't teach
'til 10:45 this semester, so there is no excuse for not getting enough
sleep. And in the same category -- rest when I'm tired. Twelve hours
of work is plenty -- there's no need to feel guilty for watching a few
hours of tv before bed.
- Keep that pilates book on the coffee table -- yes, it makes it look more cluttered, but you're never going to actually give them a fair shot if the book is on the bookshelf, are you? And you actually kind of enjoy doing them, don't you? They feel more like dance warm-ups than exercise...
*When* did I turn into such a workaholic? I swear, it snuck up on me when I wasn't looking...