Exercise log: Danced…

Exercise log:

Danced half an hour. Woke up too late to run; I'm too self-conscious to go running once it's light out. Pathetic, I know. Did 30 sit-ups and got bored. So I stretched and then did some old jazz dance steps. Hmm...maybe I'll work up a routine. I wish I could remember something beyond grapevines, box steps, and that French thing I can't spell (tap right toe behind left heel, step left in place, step away right, reverse and repeat). Very difficult doing turns on carpet.

Lots of work today; that's what happens when you rest and read for three days. :-) Did finish Nalo's book, very good and satisfying ending. Also read Elizabeth Lynn's collection of short stories, The Woman Who Loved the Moon -- good classic sf/f. Some of her stories have no real point yet are still delightfully satisfying due to their tone, e.g., "The Man Who Was Pregnant". Although I suppose you could argue that it does have a point. But it doesn't need to.

Still trying to set up the Bla-Bla contract for CS! Argh. Been a lot of frustration getting this done. They're supposedly e-mailing me a final contract today (I thought I'd filled OUT the final contract last week). We'll see. I'm dubious.

I really want to get CS on a sound financial footing before I start the new project. (What new project? Patience -- all will be revealed shortly). But it means I have to think about money. I hate thinking about money. Hate it hate it hate it.

I'm also trying to get my own finances into order. Let's not discuss the credit card bills, shall we? Theoretically, I should have at least moved all the remaining debt off the credit cards by the end of April. That's the goal, anyway. And then clear as much of what remains as possible over the summer by writing porn pieces (which are so boring, yet pay so well). Because I am going to be poor enough as a grad student without having extra silly debt to pay (the student loans will be deferred, of course). Even if I clear all that, I probably shouldn't stay at this rather pricey apartment (could probably just afford it, but shouldn't). Ugh...all complex. Don't like it. Makes me crotchety.

And my mother wants me to buy a house. Which is just fine in theory (they'd loan me the down payment), but in practice would mean a) being indebted to and financially entangled with my parents again, and b) learning a whole bunch of complicated stuff this summer (though Kev has gone through this once, which would help). I dunno. I really don't.

It feels just plumb ridiculous to be even thinking about it, but I really ought to start doing some long-term financial planning at some point, I know. I've generally relied on the "Oh, but I'm gonna be a starving writer for years, so what good is it worrying about it now?", which is just silly. But money matters make me all panicky. It comes from those couple of months after college when I was really broke and living on ramen and dodging the landlord (couldn't find a job for a while, ick). I've been known to start hyperventilating at the thought of overdrawing a check.

Argh. I should go back ot my grading. That's nice and simple and straightforward and actually under my immediate control. (Control. Such a nice word. Doesn't it sound soothing? Control. Calm. Peaceful. Satisfying. Control.)

Heh. I'd planned to do an entry on being publically poly, in response to Jane's recent post, but you can tell that money is far more on my mind than relationships or sex these days. Ah well. :-)

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