Cancer log 176: 2.5 weeks post-op reconstruction

Just a note on how it’s going. Mostly well. Now that I’ve had a look at his work, I’m really impressed by how much better it all looks. The original lumpectomy had resulted in unexpected scarring that had sort of twisted the breast inward (hard for me to explain with my complete lack of medical language) — the nipple was pointing in a weird direction, and it just all looked very far from normal. Distressing. After this first surgery, it looks *much* more like it used to. Not perfectly so, and he’s going to work on that aspect some more in a few months, when we do the second of these procedures. But despite the trouble and discomfort, and even if nothing else improves, I would consider this first procedure worthwhile, for my peace of mind, even if it basically doesn’t matter to anyone else.
 
Which does raise interesting questions about plastic surgery in general, as always. If we could wave a magic wand, such that there was no physical risk to the procedures, no discomfort or pain, would there be any reason to resist people’s desire to morph their bodies? I wouldn’t normally try to regulate people’s wish to color their hair or get tattoos or piercings. And yet I have deep concerns about the use of plastic surgery to try to reach some socially-accepted ideal form. It also makes me sad when brown girls want to get blue contacts, or worse, buy skin-bleaching cream.
 
These are not the same things, not at all. But there is overlap, and I find myself really muddled about the whole topic at the moment.
 
Ah well. As for the rest of the details, there are hard lumps under the skin of the breast, which worried me a bit because I thought those might be fluid, but no, he told me those are the lumps of fat, which should, over the next few months, heal, form connections to the blood system, and integrate into the breast? It’s all a little mysterious to me. I should go look at the science more closely.
 
I’ve graduated from mild compression to regular underthings; there’s lower abdominal bruising that is still a bit sore (and quite dramatically colored), but I can move fairly freely now. The breast is tender to the touch, but mostly fine otherwise — occasionally, I feel odd sharp stings, but not in any sort of predictable place, and they go away quickly. Bits healing, I guess. Annoying, but certainly manageable.
 
For the two weeks after the surgery, I was unusually tired — body working overtime, I think. That seems to be improving; it helps that I can do more walking and gardening now, and he tells me that I’m allowed to swim (finally) by the weekend, three weeks post-op. Once I’m back to a more regular exercise routine, I think my energy levels should stabilize again. I was also pretty weepy for a few days post-surgery, which is mostly gone now — mild physical trauma and exhaustion, I guess.
 
I tend to take things mostly in stride, but it’s been a long year-and-a-half, and this body — it is tired.

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