I’m suffering from…

I'm suffering from beauty glut, I think. I'm afraid this entry is going to sound totally insane to those of you who don't care about design or decor, but ah well. Here it goes anyway.

I was trying to discuss some design options with Kevin the other day, for the kitchen or dining room or something, and I just started crying, because I couldn't figure out how to integrate all the pretty things I had in my head. (Also, perhaps because I was very tired, admittedly.) Especially when I was trying to balance the design pretties with practicalities about how we actually live (i.e., open shelving for everyday dishes and glassware near stove? love the look, love the practicality of use, but would it get too greasy?). I found myself getting angry at how messy Kevin and the children are, and will be, because I know some of the things I'd like to do would just look awful all the time because my family wouldn't put things away properly.

And so I try to compromise, settling on designs that are a little more forgiving of clutter (like an old English gentleman's library, or a weathered farmhouse kitchen), aesthetics which I do like, and find beautiful, but then I worry that the house will just look dirty and messy all the time. I find myself longing for clean and crisp and open and bright. And so I end up browsing Etsy in the middle of the night and while sleep-deprived, buying a half-yard bundle of fabrics like this Patty Young Mezzanine collection, because hey -- clean and crisp and a great design sense, charming bright pinks and greens and white, and all in a Gothic pattern, which is super-cool, since I have a mad passion for the medieval shapes, even if I don't like the Goth doom and gloom. And I'm thinking I'll learn how to sew a small quilt or place mats and napkins or some such. And then I find myself wanting to cry again once the fabric arrives, because I can't figure out anything to do with it that I would actually use, because these colors, they are too modern for my house. Argh.

In the end, I'm leaning towards trying to do something for the conservatory with these fabrics, as that room, by its nature, will be a little different from the rest of the house. More light-filled, lots of glass and a bit of wood. Something like this below, I think, but with a different color on the wall of the house (dark blue?) and wood frames around windows and doors, not painted white, and dark wood floors too. Maybe a bright pink/green/white patchwork quilt would work okay in that space, draped over a comfy chair. I don't know.

Maybe I should just give up on this fabric and make it a gift for someone with a more modern home. Or try to do some kind of clothing for Kavi, although clothing intimdates me mightily. Argh.

I think I'm overthinking this.

6 thoughts on “I’m suffering from…”

  1. I like the conservatory idea. How about drapes and cushions for the cloth? Keep the room bright and un-fussy, so that you have at least one room in the house that isn’t littered with stuff.

  2. Mary Anne Mohanraj

    I didn’t actually buy a lot of fabric, so I don’t think I have enough for either drapes or throw pillows. But maybe I can coordinate later down the line if I do make a small tablecloth out of what I have. Although I’m not sure the conservatory actually gets drapes?

  3. I think throw pillows are a great idea. Here’s a link to an pretty easy pattern. You can see that you don’t need much fabric and you can always use a different fabric for the backing.

    Or how about a cute purse or tote bag? Doesn’t have to match your decor.

    Or how about decorating your powder room in a style that is different from the rest of your house. It’s usually a small room and can handle bright colors. The door is generally closed and there is now real flow from one room to another. You could do little cafe curtains in your fabric or trim some plain hand towels. Just a thought.

    The fabric is darling. I bet if you poked around Etsy some more, you might find other inspirations for it. Good luck.

  4. I hear you about the poignancy of making a beautiful space that then gets, er, Lived In. Luckily, I’m okay with clutter, as long as it’s aesthetic, because it’s always going to exist in our house. We do have an agreement, though. I don’t get to have an opinion about the state of Ellen’s study, and she doesn’t get to leave papers on the window seat in the living room.

    I like those fabrics, too, and think they’d look grand in the conservatory, in any capacity at all. My theory of decor comes down to: if you really, really like it, you can probably make it work together somewhere. It’s all your taste, after all.

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