So if society conditions women to care a lot more about a variety of household chores -- well, guess what? It's not surprising that the women end up caring more...and then end up doing more, because the guys just don't care as much. Society tells women that that kind of thing is important, and tells men that it isn't.
It's a tough one, because beyond basic hygiene, it's hard to argue that it's *actually* important that the kids' clothes match, or that the toys should get picked up every night (since they'll just come out again the next day). But I think it's not fair to just dump the burden of all that cultural gatekeeping work on women either. I think the solution needs to be in three parts:
a) women try to care less -- if your husband has the kids, for example, and he's dressed them in clothes that don't match and is taking them out to the park -- bite your tongue and let him do it. Don't try to take over the job because 'he's not doing it right' -- acknowledge that this just isn't that important in the grand scheme of what the household needs, and it's a lot more important that mommy gets a break and some time to take a long, hot shower, or write a blog entry. :-)
b) men try to do more of those tasks, whether they care about them or not. So maybe he actually writes the Christmas cards for a change and puts them in the mail. Or he picks up the kids' toys every night and puts them away -- that's one task that we've assigned to Kevin. (Ever go to a party and notice that when it's getting close to time to go, it's the women who get up and start helping the hostess clear up? That's cultural training at work, baby. Make the men do it too!!)
c) women also try not to judge other women (and men) for failing to do essentially unimportant tasks. Because the other side of the coin is that if women are expected to do this kind of work, women also are often the ones enforcing that expectation. We're doing it to ourselves, people!
The key is that it's important for both men and women to recognize and understand that 'caring more' isn't necessarily a good measure for whether someone should do a task -- not when women have been systematically trained by a sexist system to care a hell of a lot more about whether they have a clean house. (Yes, I obsessively clean when people are coming over. Why? Why is it important to have my house look like one pictured in a magazine? Do I really think my friends will care? I'm trying to get over that, but boy, it's hard.)