After posting that last entry, I went into the bedroom where Kevin was still lying in bed, but awake, and talking math to a colleague on the phone. I curled up with him and just listened for a while. There's something very soothing about mathematicians talking -- it's probably partly that I don't understand them, but also partly just the rhythms of the conversation. It helped. When he finished his call, I told him about the e-mail, and we talked about it some, and he held me and rubbed the tension out of my shoulders, and when I was ready to let go of him, I came out here and found some nice e-mail in my mailbox, and all of that helped too. And then I made more tea, and drank it, and finished off the ends of the scarf I made the other day, which gave me a nice feeling of completion, and then I read another fifty pages of Malory, and for once, all the smiting was rather satisfying. I could do some smiting myself. So I've gone from feeling attacked and a little scared, to feeling both comforted and annoyed, which seems a good progression to me.
Lunch now, followed by more Malory. And after that, perhaps a different art project altogether. I've been getting these ideas...