Todd’s funny…

Todd's funny sometimes.

It's not that I don't understand his problem at all -- I'm not much of one for charity either. It doesn't even occur to me a lot of the time that I could use some help -- back in college when I couldn't find a job for two months and I was so short on cash that I was literally dodging my landlord on the streets because the rent was so far past due, when I was living on ramen for weeks at a time, it didn't even occur to me that I could go on welfare, or at least get some food stamps. And if it had occurred to me, I would've resisted the idea -- I was raised a New Englander, after all. We're self-sufficient. We take care of ourselves. And generally, I think that's a good thing. The world could use more self-reliant people.

But sometimes doing it all by yourself, doing it the hard way, is very hard indeed. Painfully slow, too. Sometimes, you can get a lot further, a lot faster, if you let someone lend you a helping hand. It's more efficient. And when you get further, faster, then you're in a position to help someone else do the same -- and as a result, the whole system moves further, faster. Everyone gets better, happier. And as long as you don't spend too long riding on someone else's shoulders, then I think you'll probably be okay in the long run. Still plenty New England self-sufficient.

It's a balancing act, between the urge to take care of myself, to not trouble other people, to not be simply a burden -- and the urge not to waste time, of which there is never enough of, because some day, I'm going to die, you know. And I want to do as much as I can before then, and waste as little time as possible in the process. And that's true whether I'm playing a computer game, or running a magazine, or workshopping a story, or trying to get a real job, or even managing an emotional relationship. That's just how life works. Sometimes, you need to swallow that pride and let someone else help you.

If it helps, you can think of it as doing them a favor; they're probably enjoying themselves.


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