Hey everyone. Sorry for…

Hey everyone. Sorry for the brief hiatus -- yesterday was crazy at the office and dance class and today isn't going to be much better. All's well here, though I'm going a little nuts waiting to hear from all the other grad schools. Interesting development -- Penthouse is going to run a story or two of mine from these pages in one of their columns. No pay, but possibly a foot in a well-paying door.

In partial payment, I offer to you my entry for my workshop's mini-Bulwer- Lytton contest. (For those unfamiliar, the contest is for the worst grammatically-correct prose...great fun. :-) Hope you're amused.

"His muscled thews clasped her heaving chain-mailed bosom to him, while with one mighty hand he wielded the famed sword, Dracoslayerdi, which in the High Elven means He Who Slays Seven Dragons Single-Handed, which was appropriate because the hero Viriligorani, which in the High Elven means He Who Clasps Chain-Mailed Virgins With Mighty Thews, was in fact one-handed due to a terrible choice he'd had to make in the slave mines five aeons previously, which would have otherwise resulted in the loss of his Big Richard, which in the High Elven means That Which Impregnates Thirty Chain-Mailed Virgins At a Single Spurt, to slay the seven-headed dragon above their heaving bodies."

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