(New Year’s…

(New Year's Eve)

Mmmm. Having a little difficulty prying my eyes open to write this -- totally rockin' party last night. I had planned to just stop by for a bit and pay my respects (friend's friend's birthday) but it was such a fascinating bunch of people that we didn't get to sleep till 4:30 or so. 10 different nationalities at least, and a wide range of clothes and styles, from glamour to grunge, and the place was packed. I could have done with a little less smoke, but such is life...

Woke up this morning and finished rereading a collection of Sayers short stories (you remember her? the mystery writer I recommended a few days ago?), Lord Peter Views the Body. Great fun, with a couple true gems. Have now started some Twain short stories, beginning with his "Letter to the Earth", which is hilarious! If you like sardonic wit, seek this story out.

Been doing a lot of thinking lately, about life, and this page, and the net. I never really expected that these pages and my words would gain the tremendous success they have, and though undoubtedly part of the page's popularity is due to its being listed under erotica in various indexes, enough people have written to me (I get about 10 letters a day) that it seems clear people actually do read (and enjoy) the rest of my ramblings. Which makes me wonder why they read it and why I write it. I think that perhaps the world is a very lonely place, and growing lonelier. And even though my life is full and rich with friends and love, there is always an urge to reach out and speak to someone else -- to know that I am being heard. Perhaps it's just simple insecurity, or something more complex. Whichever, I'm glad and grateful that so many people are enjoying these pages.

It seems to have been a good year all around, with its share of ups and downs, but more ups than I've had in a few years. For a while after I left college I felt as if I were in limbo, just floating around trying to figure out what to do with my life, both personally and professionally. But then a year or so ago I made some choices and stuck by them, and they finally seem to be paying off. If I've collected any wisdom this year, I think it's this -- take chances. Be brave and do the thing that you are most afraid of. You know the quote I'm about to mangle..."Of all the words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'it might have been.'"

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