It's been...a day. Pleasant enough morning; breakfast at Cucina with Jason and a short walk, before he went off to the airport. Called Kev not much later...to find that we're not as okay as I'd thought. Long conversation ensued. Eventually resolved enough to leave for the day, but neither of us is doing so good. I'm queasy and my head hurts; I've been watching tv and doing random chores around the house to distract myself. Boston Public
was a decent episode, and I'm afraid I'm getting hooked on that new show, The American Embassy
-- I got all teary and patriotic while watching it. Which is undoubtedly part of the intent, and I would get annoyed at such blatant manipulation except that it's working even with my awareness of it. But now there's nothing on but a Star Trek episode I've seen before. Not quite distracting enough.
It's bad enough, when the relationship stuff is unclear, up in the air. When we don't know if we can make the romantic part work. But even then, we're usually not mad at each other; we're just trying to figure out how to make different needs mesh, if we can. When I'm actually upset with him, or he with me -- that just feels wrong. Wrong on a much more basic and scary level. Because when all is said and done, he's my best friend, and when things aren't right with him, they're not right with my world.
He's arriving around dinnertime tomorrow, staying 'til Sunday very early. Wish us luck, okay? Think good thoughts this way.