I’m tired and cranky and…

I'm tired and cranky and I don't wanna start classes today. I wanna stay home and watch videos. Sadly, this is not an option.

Oh, I'm sure some part of me (probably a large part) is excited about the start of the semester. But I got into a mopey mood last night, continued mopey until about midnight, finally fell asleep after a long talk with David, and then woke up, still mopey. I know why I'm mopey too, and it's really not anything I can do anything about right now. That always drives me crazy. Helplessness is not my favorite state.

Let's think of more positive things, shall we? I got all my silly errands done yesterday. I bought new fish, and new filters for my tank (which was getting really scary). Hopefully the new fish won't eat the old ones (or vice versa) and the new filters won't kill off all the good bacteria in the process of cleaning out the bad gunk. I haven't dared to look at my tank yet this morning. Fingers crossed. It certainly was more interesting to watch last night, though -- the new fish are much more active than the old ones, who had somehow gotten in the habit of just hovering in quiet corners. Lazy buggers.

Okay. Positive. I'm thinking positive. I walked a lot yesterday; that's good. And I'm in good time today to walk to campus, which would also be virtuous. I should probably go make some tea, and then take advantage of the hour or so I have now to get some work done. I have been collecting rejections for "A Gentle Man" from the lit mags, and I need to sort them out and record them. Then I need to send a copy to Glimmer Train; we're in the January reading period now. Oh, and I had to wait on sending out the CS contracts because I didn't have #10 envelopes, but now I do (that was one of the errands for yesterday) so I can put those in the mail too. That'd be good. Heh. I wonder if any of the people getting contracts are reading this journal, tracking the progress of their checks. :-) Don't worry -- they're coming!

I'm feeling better at the thought of the work I have to do, which is a good sign. It's just early-morning-crankiness, not anything actually wrong. That's good. It's going to be a long day today, and I'd really rather not be unhappy all the way through it. I teach first, then I have narrative theory. That course has no reading list, so I couldn't get ahead over break, so I'm still not at all sure what narrative theory actually is. I suppose it'll be good for me, though. Fingers crossed. Then I have the class of Kathryn's that I'm auditing, Canonical Perversions -- mostly 19th c. British queers. Should be fun. :-) And then a short break for dinner, followed by three hours of fiction workshop. My Tuesdays are actually a little longer than a full workday; 10:45 - 8:00. I could complain, but since I'm here for half that time on Thursday and not at all any other day, I suspect complaining would be a bad idea. I do expect to be fairly tired at the end of the day Tuesday this semester. I can live with that.

Okie. Tea. Work. Long hot shower. Spiffy clothes to impress the students, since it's the first day (and never mind that by the end of the semester they'll be lucky if they get a real shirt instead of my pyjama top over my jeans). Pack up. A nice brisk walk to campus. It's all good, right? Right.

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