I’m troubled. I spent…

I'm troubled. I spent much of this morning paging through some of the other diaries on-line, all of which are much more personal and specific than my own. And I'm considering whether I can/should keep this diary up without mentioning the names of people who are important in my life, or without talking about personal events. I'm not sure where or if I should draw the line between total disclosure/honesty and safety/privacy. I already (as a result of being a woman who writes erotica and admits it) get occasional disturbing e-mail, most of which I can ignore, but it's stressful sometimes (like the guy who kept sending me one-sentences messages, like 'you're a whore.') I don't know if it's fair to expose my friends to that. Or even to discuss their private lives in a public forum. They're already used to my fictionalizing their lives in stories and poems, but that somehow seems slightly less intrusive than saying 'X and I had a terrible fight', or 'I had the best sex of my life with Y last night.' Even if I just use first names, I have a link to at least one of my partners in my 'friends link' section, and so it would be easy for someone to start sending harassing e-mail to that person.

It really makes me angry sometime that my words and life can be so constrained by danger from idiots.

I suppose the best thing to do is ask each of the people I'd like to mention if they'd mind. And then think about exactly what I want to say to you all. Oof.

To go back to the standard fare of this journal -- yesterday I watched Flirting again, a classic Australian movie about high school and being an outsider and falling in love and a lot more. Thoroughly enjoyed it. After that, there occurred various and complex events in my love life, all of which have left me feeling slightly off-kilter today, and which spurred the rant above. In brief, I've started re-examining both a particular relationship in my life, and my views on relationships and polyamory in general. For those not familiar with polyamory, please ref. the newsgroup, alt.polyamory, especially the FAQ.

I also spent some time working on some old lyrics for a rather odd song I wrote many years ago, because a friend wants me to write lyrics to some of his music, and so I'm thinking much more about music than I have in a while. I used to play classical piano and flute -- now I futz around on a keyboard and pennywhistle and bodhran and wooden spoons and am much more interested in the folk tradition. I still have trouble 'jamming', so to speak -- I feel a need for written music that just doesn't fit in with the ethos or practice of folk or basement band.

noon -- I finally got back the last of the photos from my trip to Sri Lanka, in addition to some photos I thought I had lost of an old love. Interesting, and leaving me feeling somewhat wistful. I wouldn't mind a week on a tropical island right now.

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