2024 wrap-up. I am so tired. (You could just stop there.)
Artwork by Kavi, done for class. I feel it expresses my sense of 2024 quite well. This year! Gah. Even though I’m going to end this list with the good things, I feel I should note that a higher than usual percentage of this year was just miserable and sucky, and judging by what’s been coming across my feed today, that was true for a lot of you.
I see you, peeps. Hang in there. I hope you can find a little more calm and a little more joy in 2025.
Sad things:
- breaking up with Jed (it’s been almost a year now, but it’s still sad. I think it’ll be sad for a long time.)
- my mother-in-law’s passing
- my father-in-law’s passing (last year, but still sad)
- our dog Ellie’s passing (also last year, also still sad)
(that’s a lot of loss all at once; I could take a break now, universe) - my mother slipping away a little more every day
- not being able to kiss away my teen kids’ troubles, and mostly just having to be there for them when they decide they actually want support (they’re both doing fine now, but there were some very rough spots this year)
- the election
Angry things:
- the election
- other kids who don’t treat my kids well (but since they’re kids too, mostly we just have to suck it up and hope they grow out of it)
- that might be it — I don’t typically get that angry.
Frustrating things:
- diabetes diagnosis (not a huge deal right now, I think, but irritating to have another health issue to deal with — this aging thing is not for the faint of heart)
- writing (I’ve been in a bit of a black hole about writing this past year, with lots of fits and starts and gah. I don’t know. I have some ideas of where to go in 2025, but there are too many writing ideas. I need to find a way to narrow them down and focus. I might buy an actual physical planner when I finish this post (which I have never done before).)
- trying to help Kavi write her college application essays (and the whole process overall) — she’s a procrastinator (I think ADHD, though we haven’t yet found a professional who agrees with me enough to offer her medication, gah), and her stress became our stress and for most of November / December, our house was just a big vibrating stress ball trying not to explode (Anand hid in his room a lot)
- my workaholic tendencies that mean I don’t rest when I should rest and then I drive myself into the ground — but I’m actually getting a lot better at noticing overload and pausing work these days, so that’s something? Progress? Personal growth?
Calming things:
- my ADHD meds (gods, I love them)
- working in the garden, or in the basement studio making art
- working out with my trainer Liz Fairweather (and I wouldn’t even tell you about her right now, except I know she won’t give away my time slot)
- swimming (have run out of time for that this fall, with the shop and intense production, but need and want to get back to it — swimming in Mexico was a joy)
- having periodic meals with friends where we all talk too much and too fast because we don’t get enough of this…
- walking in the woods
- petting the purring cat
- knowing that I’ll be done with school board in a few months — I stepped up to serve because I wasn’t sure we were going to get enough candidates during the pandemic, and it’s been an interesting 3+ years so far, I’ve learned a lot, but it’s also been a HUGE time commitment, and I’ve neglected various other things because of it; really looking forward to finishing my term
Satisfying things:
- writing and publishing the Joanna Russ essay, “Nothing Too Frightening” — writing it was hard work, but I’m proud of the result
- publishing “The Bloody Eagle” in Wild Cards Sleeper Straddle (set in Sri Lanka, during wartime)
- writing and publishing “Fated” in The Sunday Morning Transport — I think that may be my only newly-written story of the year, sigh, but hey, as a holiday gift, they’ve unlocked the whole story, so you can read it all here (at least for now!): https://www.sundaymorningtransport.com/p/fated
- learning how to do a lot of new craft things (with lots of mistakes and failures along the way, but some signal successes too — I adore the rose table, zinnia table, and dahlia table — I think they count as real art.)
Joyous things:
- Strange Horizons finally winning a Hugo, huzzah!
- recording many episodes of the podcast with Benjamin Rosenbaum — this fall I was so busy I just couldn’t record much at all, but we’re starting to release season 3, and Ben and I have plans to record a lot in the next few months — it’s always a joy to talk to him
- getting my final promotion to full professor
- opening a shop and learning that lots of people think my artwork is really pretty, and some people wish they could buy everything in the shop and just live in my aesthetic
- good friends who will rant about the election with me, and then come together and start planning how we hold the republic together in the next four years (without necessarily running for office…)
- a wealth of true friends, friendly acquaintances, good neighbors, small business colleagues, writers and artists and teachers in the trenches with me, beloved relatives, and you, my internet compatriots — talking to you helps me process the hard things, and figure out what I really think of them. Thank you.
Most importantly:
- Kevin and the kids; trust me, I know just how lucky I am to have them in my life. They are the best.
Onwards.
