*****
Jonathan danced *too* well – Surinder quickly realized that he was not in Jonathan’s league. Jonathan moved at twice the speed of the song, never missing a beat, his body sinuous and gorgeously sweaty. Surinder wasn’t a bad dancer, but he just couldn’t keep up – and he could feel himself getting worse as the song went on. Soon he’d end up doing a zombie shuffle, weight shifting from one foot to the other, mindless. His bhangra-dancing ancestors would be appalled.
They were drawing a crowd of observers, clapping along for them, which just made Surinder feel even more awkward, exposed. He didn’t move right, wasn’t dressed right, everyone could tell he didn’t belong here. The song mercifully came to an end, and Surinder grabbed at the opportunity, his face flushed with shame that he hoped might pass for exertion.
The words came out rapid-fire: “I really need a drink. Can I get you one? I’ll be right back.”
He turned and walked away before Jonathan could answer, knowing that as soon as the next song started up – ah, there it was – Jonathan would have plenty of eager offers for partners. It wasn’t far to the drinks table – but Nami was there with Tsinga, their heads bent together in what looked like a serious discussion. Surinder bit his lip, then turned away. He should go outside, get some fresh air, clear his head.
Even Nami seemed different – they’d been best friends for almost two decades, but here, in Kaveri, everything felt strange. What made sense in a small, homogenous mining town fell apart here. And Nami’s whole family had moved here – Surinder was on his own, in the dorms, just like Selah and Joe and Jonathan, but he was the local, he was supposed to fit in, to know his way around. He’d gotten lost three times on the first day of classes, though he’d never admit that to anyone, even Nami.
Why had he thought he might have a shot with Jonathan anyway? For all his bold manners, Surinder had never really dated anyone. A few fumbled couplings in the dark of the mine, mad crushes that went unrequited. Maybe that was why he’d pushed Nami so hard about Selah – he just wanted someone to be happy, if he couldn’t be.
Was that true? Or was he just casting himself in the most flattering light? A useful skill for an actor or a lawyer, Surinder imagined – and why couldn’t he pick a career anyway? Never mind, that was a problem for the morning.
But maybe pushing Nami wasn’t anything noble – maybe it was just twisting the knife in his own gut. If she did get together with Selah, wouldn’t that be proof that Surinder had been right, somehow, and that Nami deserved love, and he didn’t?
*Counsellor, advise thyself. That argument makes no sense.*
True. And yet, it felt right, in some convoluted way. Gods, sometimes Surinder exhausted even himself. It was no wonder his family had been glad to ship him halfway across the planet.
*S? Where are you?* The message from Nami came through bright red, blinking urgently, as if a bomb had gone off, or someone else had gotten knifed. Nothing was wrong – that was just her ironic style, but right now, Surinder could’ve done without it.
*Getting some air.*
*Jonathan’s looking for you.*
His heart skipped a beat, before settling down to reality again. Unlikely. She was just fretting, and figured that was the best way to get him back where she could see him. Nami was a little compulsive about taking care of her people – she got it from her mom, he supposed. *I’ll be back soon.*
He’d go back in, really. Probably. In a few minutes.
***
…to be continued.