Acedia (Latin, acedia) (from Greek ακηδία) is the neglect to take care of something that one should do. It is translated to apathetic listlessness; depression without joy. It is similar to melancholy, although acedia describes the behaviour, while melancholy suggests the emotion producing it. In early Christian thought, the lack of joy was regarded as a wilful refusal to enjoy the goodness of God and the world God created; by contrast, the apathy was regarded as a spiritual affliction that discouraged people from their religious work.I think that's just fascinating. I'm particularly interested in the part about acedia as a 'wilful refusal to enjoy the goodness of God and the world God created' -- I think about how miserable daily life was for many Christians in Thomas Aquinas's time, just in terms of their physical comforts. The life of my body is so much more comfortable than theirs -- and yet they still thought it was a deadly sin, to willfully refuse to enjoy life.When Thomas Aquinas described acedia in his interpretation of the list, he described it as an uneasiness of the mind, being a progenitor for lesser sins such as restlessness and instability. Dante refined this definition further, describing acedia as the failure to love God with all one's heart, all one's mind and all one's soul; to him it was the middle sin, the only one characterised by an absence or insufficiency of love.
I've really enjoyed life today, by the way. Some kid-watching, some reading, some knitting, some laughter with Kevin at baby antics, some good food (leftover takeout from Sticky Rice, mmm...). All in reasonable and pleasant proportion. I need to have more days like this.
I don’t know how to find peace and contentment in my life anymore. This has been ongoing for two years now. I’m lost. I don’t know what to do. I’ve contemplated suicide just to end my own suffering.
I’m sorry; I don’t know who this is, but there are resources to help you. Please consider talking to a therapist, or calling a suicide hotline. Call 1-800-273-8255, if you’re in America.
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