I had some good distractions yesterday, though. First, Kavi was having one of her super-cute mornings, of which there have been many lately. Kevin was saying that it's a shame that we didn't manage to get our act together in time to go visit relatives this summer, because Miss Kavya is really insanely adorable these days, and there's no guarantee that'll still be true in three to six months, when they see her next. No real sign of the terrible two's yet -- oh, she can pout a bit when she doesn't get her way, but she's generally easily distracted. And mostly, she's just happy singing girl these days.
Anyway, so adorable toddler. And then Jarmila showed up, and I wrote a long rambly post about painting cathedral ceilings, and got those checks in the mail, finally, and then Lori and Ursa showed up. And mostly we socialized instead of writing while the dogs exhausted themselves playing, and that was good too, because I haven't really had a chance to talk to her since Kriti. She finally has a blog! We did talk a little about writing, and I spent a while thinking about "Jump Space" and what would be involved in turning it into a short novel. It could be a lot of fun to write. Very Heinlein-esque, I think, which for me is a good thing, although I know the very idea gives some people the horrors. It makes me want to go re-read some of the Heinlein juveniles -- not that this will be a juvenile exactly, not with all the sex slave etc. stuff, but I kind of want some of the same feel, I think. Family in space, like The Rolling Stones, and it's been twenty years at least since I read that book, so I think it's time to pick it up again.
Then off to a meeting on campus, with the Asian American Studies faculty, whom I really like, talking about the upcoming search and other staffing issues. To be honest, it feels a bit weird being the only non-tenure-track person in the room, especially since most of them actually have tenure at this point. A bit like a second-class citizen, because I'm not allowed to volunteer to be on search committees, etc. and so on. I'm also the only fiction writer, which makes me really want to get going on writing up something critical, just so we have a shared frame of reference there. And then I start worrying that Heinlein-esque semi-juvenile space opera is really not the kind of thing that's going to impress my department, even if I a) manage to write it, and b) find a publisher. But I think I need to let that go -- everyone's been really nice and welcoming to me, and any feeling of being inadequate is a) pretty much in my own head, and b) endemic to both academia and writing. So.
Write what I want to write. Sometimes that'll be space opera, sometimes it'll be mainstream lit., sometimes it might actually be something critical. Write what interests me and let the career do what it will. I'm trying.
After the meeting, a run to Target (through truly hideous traffic, gods know why), where I indulged my frustrated nesting instinct by getting a few basics for baby boy. Two little white cross-over shirts. Three onesies, in blue and green and white. Three flannel receiving blankets, blue and white, good for both spit-up and swaddling a newborn. Two little outfits in case we actually want to get dressed up and go to the park, from hat to hoodie to booties. I am clearly going to need to learn to love blue and green and brown, because there are very few other options for boys. Where is the orange? The bright purple? The red? In more expensive stores, I fear. I restrained myself from buying anything more, because we really are supposed to be saving up money for all the moving expenses right now, plus the furniture we'll need, never mind the actual house purchase. But I think I needed this, to go and get a few things brand-new, just for him. It made me feel better.
I also set up our baby registry while I was there. We don't need nearly as much as last time, since Kavi is passing along quite a bit to her little brother, but somewhere along the way we gave away her bouncy seat and swing, and her moses basket disintegrated eventually (we were tough on it). So, mostly for the relatives, here are a few things little boy Whyte could use. I don't know that we're going to have an actual baby shower -- it feels a bit odd, the second time around, especially since we don't need nearly as much stuff! But if you feel moved to send baby boy a present, either on the registry or off, it'd be very welcome. :-)
In my book, EVERY child deserves a celebration of their life and gifts. That’s why I think every child should have a shower. In my mind, the shower is not for the parent. It is for the child. Showers are for the babies, not the parent, thus the term ‘Baby Shower’ and not ‘Mommy Shower’ or ‘Parent Shower’. At the minimum, if someone has a different sex baby, they should for sure get another shower. It’s all new colors you need!
My personal philosophy could come from the adoption world. If we, God forbid, ever had to give our baby back (before the birth mother terminated her rights a couple weeks after birth), and a shower had taken place, I would have sent all the gifts with the child.
Okie, so you’re pretty convincing here. But still, we don’t need so much. As it was with Kavi, we ended up with so many infant clothes that there were clothes she never wore even once, and which just got passed on to other babies (which is not necessarily a bad thing, I admit).
Would it be weird to combine a baby shower with a housewarming party, assuming we actually get a new house? I’m not sure that we need so much for the new house either (other than lots of expensive furniture :-), but then the party would at least serve the dual purpose of letting people see the new house (and see that it’s really not as far from the city as they think it is :-).
Hmm. My gut reaction is actually the opposite, WidneyWoman. I tend to assume that the purpose of a shower is to provide new families with the things they will need for an infant, to help them over the hump of needing to gather so many new items at once. Much like a housewarming for a first house (or first house of a significant size). Showers for additional children always seem a bit unnecessary to me, since many of those items probably still exist and can be reused. If I want to give something to the child specifically (which I often do; I agree that younger siblings deserve some nice new things too), then I send a gift when the birth is announced. Obviously the etiquette opinions on this one vary substantially though, and I think somewhat by region/circle of friends, so YMMV. And it does seem much less objectionable to me when there is some specific reason why the family needs new things – ie, a new gender, a long time since the previous birth, special needs, etc.