Sorry it's been a while -- in part, that's 'cause we're still mostly in limbo on the job front. There have been a few developments, but nothing conclusive, and we don't have a solid offer from UIC on the table yet. I was asked to interview at one school in California, and decided to turn it down because it's a heavier teaching load than I think I'm going to want -- and actually, that's independent of baby, so I don't yet have to decide whether I'm sacrificing my career for motherhood. That choice has not yet arisen, since apparently, I don't have so much of a career at the moment. No other interview requests this time around.
On Kev's side, he's been asked to interview at Ann Arbor and Cambridge, both of which will happen in early January. I'm not sure whether Ann Arbor would be a good move for us -- pros: lower cost of living, could maybe have a house with a yard, near Kira and Sean; cons: more snow, would have to go to the effort of moving, further from many Chicago friends. As for England, we're going to fly out on January 6th to look around seriously. Kev comes back on the 12th; I'll actually stay a bit longer (staying with Farah) to talk to a woman on the 15th about a possible teaching gig. It looks like my chances are actually quite good for doing a little teaching in England -- the only complication there is I'm not certain what would be involved in my actually being allowed to work while in the country, given that it's not full-time. More stuff to research, sigh.
On the baby front, things are starting to happen in little ways. I got a royalty check for Bodies in Motion, and splurged a few hundred dollars of it on three pairs of really nice maternity pants from Belly Dance. I did need maternity pants, because my jeans and other pants have started getting TOO TIGHT! I wore a pair to my sister's party last night, with a flowy top, and I felt comfortable and pretty for the first time in weeks. Hooray for good maternity clothes! I actually can't wait until I'm more visibly pregnant; I want a real baby bump. Soon, hopefully -- should be here within a month or so.
I could think that I was just getting fatter, but my stomach is actually feeling oddly firm (under the layer of flab), so I'm thinking maybe it's actually baby, not fat. According to the scale, I've gained about four pounds so far this pregnancy -- that's on the low side for this stage, but that's good, given that I started heavier than ideal. The books say I should aim for 15-25 pounds overall, and I should be gaining about a pound a week for the rest of the time. We'll see how it goes. No weird cravings yet, but I am definitely enjoying getting to eat this many calories and not feel guilty about it. When I eat out, I don't automatically get the grilled chicken -- sometimes now, I get the cheeseburger. And it feels good! :-) I think I should be eating more salads, though...
Susan Lee also very kindly offered to throw a West Coast baby shower for me, which will happen on Saturday February 17th. I sent her a list of my local friends, so if you're one of them, expect an invite in late January or so. Sometimes around then we'll also be doing the anatomy scan ultrasound, which is the one where we might find out the sex of the baby, if baby cooperates. We have no particular interest in being surprised when it comes out -- being surprised in January is plenty. :-) So once we know that, we'll spend some time researching car seats and cribs and that kind of thing and set up a baby registry. We'll also start seriously thinking about names. Eep.
Generally, feeling happier and less anxious about the pregnancy. I'm less likely to suddenly worry that I'm not pregnant anymore, but I've started worrying on occasion that the baby's dead, or horribly malformed, or some such. I know, it's super-unlikely. But I'm looking forward to quickening in a big way -- it'll be really reassuring, feeling those little movements. We're at sixteen weeks now, just about -- baby is five inches long -- that's longer than my hand! It's getting substantial, not just a tiny peanut.
Go, little peanut, go!
When Elle was pregnant for the first time, I imagined all kinds of catastrophes may happen to her and our unborn. I was so ridiculously happy with everything that was happening, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think part of it has to do with entertainment in our culture – no one in a story is this happy without some imminent calamity.
But life isn’t a story and transitioning to becoming a parent is simply a happy, glorious, ecstatic, and scary process!
Yes, it’s funny how much I’ve been worrying and focused on the scary possibilities, given that I’m such a cheerful risk-taker in the rest of my life. I’ve always been the sort of person who figured that the odds were that I wouldn’t get mugged walking down the street alone at night, so I didn’t worry about it. I’m not nearly so relaxed with this situation, though! Weird…