Just finished a serious…

Just finished a serious revision of the new first story in the book, "Oceans Bright and Wide." I think I'm pretty happy with it, but I'm too close to it to tell right now. I layered in quite a bit more stuff...and I *think* it hangs together a lot better now, but it's possible that I've just succeeded in turning it into a big jumble instead. Posted it to the readers' list -- someone please read it and tell me what you think? Pretty please?