What can I do to shape myself the kind
Of man you want, the kind for whom you’d stay?
Shall I turn sullen, brooding, darkly fey—
The type that had you left would have pined
Away to nothingness? You might then find
You liked me somewhat brighter. Speak, love, say
Whom you desire. I could be shining, gay with dazzling wit – wouldst love me for my mind alone?
Silent still. Your silence speaks –
Pained eyes averted from this wretched blight;
These sunken depths. I have become a sham,
Disgust myself. This weakness in me reeks;
Yet I still vow, “I could have shone so bright
If only you had loved me as I was.”
9/11/96
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