The Best American Erotica: 1999, 1999
Sex Magick 2, 1999
Helena struggled out of sleep, blinking her eyes hazily
against the darkened room. It had been a most vivid dream.
Since she’d left her spineless husband and the regular supply
of dull sex, she’d often had erotic dreams Somehow none
had been quite this…explicit. A tongue had licked her instep,
her toes. Teeth had nibbled on her calves. She had almost
been able to feel the muscled body, the sensuous hands
caressing her thighs, her hips. She could almost hear his
heavy panting, and smell his strong breath.
Actually, she could still smell that strong breath, that
unmistakable mixture of strong spirits and poor oral hygiene.
There was a strong scent of aroused male in the room.
Helena suddenly sat up and switched on her halogen lamp,
ready to grab it and crack it on the skull of any would-be
As the light flooded the room, an immense man
reared up on the bed and away from her, raising a hairy arm
to block his eyes from the light.
“Shut that off, wench! You’ll ruin the mood!”
Wench? What kind of man calls a woman wench?
Helena relaxed a little, still retaining her firm grip on the
lamp, and peered at the impressive stranger in her bedroom.
“What are you doing here?” she asked him, quite
calmly, she thought.
“Seducing you!” he thundered. “What does it look
like I’m doing?” He lowered his arm a bit, piercing blue eyes
blinking in the light like those of a dazed deer. Helena stared
intently at him, hungrily drinking in the obvious strength in
those arms, that chest. The man was positively bristling with
hair, and muscles bulged under the thick brown coat.
Something else bulged too, an enormous penis that stood out
proudly from his naked body. Helena had been married for
seven years, and bar-hopping for three, but she had never
seen anything to match this before. She licked her lips.
He blinked at her, looking a little confused. Then he
seemed to gather himself together. He started shouting
“Fear not, fair maiden. I am the greatest of lovers,
reknowned in seven kingdoms and across seventy seas. No
harm will come to thee!”
Helena winced at the volume. “Could you lower your
voice a little?” she asked, as she started to shift her body,
preparatory to sitting up. The man immediately flung
himself down on her, pinning her to the bed. Helena just lay
there, enjoying the weight of his body on hers, the teasing
scritch of curly chest hair against her nipples.
“My apologies, maiden, but I cannot have you turning
into a bull, or a swan, or trying to run away” he said, in a
voice slightly softer than before.
A bull? A swan? A strange suspicion started dancing
through Helena’s head. “Just what did you say your name
was?” she asked him.
The man’s chest swelled proudly, incidentally
crushing her breasts beneath it. “I am Zeus, ruler of
Olympus, seducer of maidens, wielder of the
thunderbolt….and you shall not escape me!”
“Why would I want to?” Helena practically cooed, as
she laced her arms around his thick neck. That would
explain how he got into her locked bedroom, the odd dream
she’d been having…it would explain a lot of things. She
began rubbing her naked body against his, maneuvering so
he could slide that gorgeous tool into the place where it
“Sorry?” he said. His voice suddenly seemed much less
like massive thundering, and more like a pitiful squeak. He
held his body very stiff as he stared down at her. While stiff
was good in some ways, his stillness was somewhat of a
problem now, as she couldn’t get to quite the position she
needed. “Are you not afraid of me? Will you not shift your
form into a thousand others so as to escape? Will you not
turn into a tree, a pebble, a breath of breeze?”
“Honey, I can’t shift my form into even one other.”
Helena replied. She raked her nails along his back, and
writhed her body underneath his, hoping to stimulate a
response. His response wasn’t quite what she expected.
“But it is simple. Even the shepherd maids of Greece
knew how. Let me show you,” he said. And with that, she
felt an odd sort of twist in her brain, strange enough to make
her pause a second in her feverish groping. Suddenly she
knew how to change forms, how to become a thousand
creatures of wind and flesh and earth. Zeus smiled in
triumph above her. “Now, will you run?” he asked.
“Mmm….I don’t think so,” Helena said. With that, she
used her newfound knowledge to stretch her body, adding
several inches to her height, and not so incidentally enabling
her to finally slip that stiff penis inside her dripping cunt.
Helena gasped then, and bit down on his rock-hard shoulder.
She started to slide back and forth, almost gnawing on his
skin as she did so.
“But they always run,” Zeus said. He sounded
dismayed. “I cannot believe women have changed so in the
mere millenia that Hera and I spent travelling …surely you
are unnatural, a freak?”
Helena kept moving as she replied, “Well, my
appetite’s maybe a bit bigger than most women’s, but I think
I’m pretty typical nowadays.” Suddenly, that feeling of
delicious fullness started to disappear. Helena looked up in
sudden suspicion. “Hey, if you’re a god, surely you can keep
Zeus started to pull himself away. “You are a hellish
imitation of a true woman. I will go and find a more
feminine being in whom to spend my heavenly seed. You
cannot expect me to perform with a creature as unwomanly
as yourself. It would be…unnatural!”
Helena suddenly clung even harder, wrapping her
long (extremely long) legs around his muscular form. “Not
so fast, boy. You look to be the best lay I’ve had in a long
time.” Helena’s mind continued the sentence; ‘with potentially
infinite endurance.’ “You’re not getting away until I get
what you promised earlier. And not until I get it several times.”
Zeus moaned in dismay, and suddenly changed himself
into a porcupine. But Helena changed her skin into an odd fur,
and stuck to him like velcro. He wailed in horror, and changed
himself into a lightning bolt. But she changed into a storm,
and blew out all the windows as she surrounded him. Zeus
moaned as he turned into a waterfall, pouring out of her
forty-seventh floor windows. But she turned into a river
right below him, and engulfed his sweet essence. It was then
that he really started to run.
Helena chased him down the highway, causing the
early morning traffic jams to become early morning wrecking
sites, as the heavenly dawn filled the sky. Irate businessmen
in suits leaning out their car windows could hear a male
voice, whimpering on the wind as the pair disappeared over
the horizon. It was clearly calling, “Hera? Saaaaaaaave
meeeeeeeee……..” The ones who listened carefully even
heard a soft chuckle of what might have been goddess laughter
as they hurriedly pulled their heads back inside, and quickly
rolled up the windows.