Children were more trouble

than they were worth, for the first

eighteen months. I am not good

with babies or disrupted sleep.

Eventually, the balance tipped

over, and now, most days,

they bring more joy

than frustration. Which

is why we had two, and why

despite tiredness, I wish

we’d had time and energy

enough for more.


It took us twenty-three

years to decide to marry.

He said last week that if

he could go back, knowing

where we’d end up, he

would tell himself to go

ahead and get married

much sooner. It was sweet,

but I’m not sure it would

have worked. There were

some rough years, and

I imagine a divorce

is harder to recover from

than a break-up.


It’s our wedding anniversary,

and I’ve been thinking

how being with him

hasn’t always been easy

but on balance, it is better

than not being with him.

Some years, it was only

marginally better. These days,

it’s mostly much better —

sometimes even blissful.


We have learned, finally,

how to make each other happier

most of the time. I could wish

we’d learned it sooner,

but maybe, like babies

and sleeping, some things

you can’t rush.