Children were more trouble
than they were worth, for the first
eighteen months. I am not good
with babies or disrupted sleep.
Eventually, the balance tipped
over, and now, most days,
they bring more joy
than frustration. Which
is why we had two, and why
despite tiredness, I wish
we’d had time and energy
enough for more.
It took us twenty-three
years to decide to marry.
He said last week that if
he could go back, knowing
where we’d end up, he
would tell himself to go
ahead and get married
much sooner. It was sweet,
but I’m not sure it would
have worked. There were
some rough years, and
I imagine a divorce
is harder to recover from
than a break-up.
It’s our wedding anniversary,
and I’ve been thinking
how being with him
hasn’t always been easy
but on balance, it is better
than not being with him.
Some years, it was only
marginally better. These days,
it’s mostly much better —
sometimes even blissful.
We have learned, finally,
how to make each other happier
most of the time. I could wish
we’d learned it sooner,
but maybe, like babies
and sleeping, some things
you can’t rush.
*****