THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF KING PELLINORE

Day One

Good to be the king! Lord of all I survey, etc. Queen expert sword polisher, tho too much in the mead. Many sons loyal & strong, except Percival. Might be poof. Oh well. One in every family. Kingly stubble outstanding. All in all, go me!

Day Two

Have met new friend from out of town, Questing Beast. Not much to look at and not interested in smiting, but knows all best gossip. No idea Uther died last year. No one tells me anything.

Still king.

Day Three

Told queen about Q. Beast. Not v. understanding. Q. Beast understands me. *sulk*

On plus side, still king.

Day Four

Dreadful day. Big fight with queen, much drama. Goblets thrown: 1. Called me pervy beast fancier. As if!

Still king.

Day Five

Well, maybe fancy Q. Beast a little.

Day Seven

More fighting with queen with makeup polishing afterwards. Exhausting. Recent mead shortage at castle possib. contributing factor. Also Q. Beast has started making demands, i.e., pixies for breakfast. Promised to import from Cornwall at great expense. Oh well. Castle treasury just sitting there.

Day Nine

Disaster! Pixies arrived but gave Q. Beast fearful indigestion. Claimed too much pepper, whatever that is. Left to seek relief. V. lonely without Q. Beast, as mead shortage over & queen now unavailable for polishing.

Day Ten

Q. Beast not back yet. Inconsolable. Not even being king helps.

*sulk*

Day Eleven

Q. Beast still not back. Big fight with queen. Goblets thrown: 4. Left in huff to find Q. Beast. Concerned if left castle, would still be king? Decided to take crown with me, just in case.

Still king, even on road.

King Pellinore, Part 2
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