Part 1

THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF KING PELLINORE, part 2

Day Twelve

Weather bad. No sign of Q. Beast. Still king.

Day Thirteen

No sign of Q. Beast. Bad weather continues. Forced to polish own sword. Most unkingly. Happily, still king.

Day Fourteen

Bloody weather. May have to start polishing own armor as well.

On plus side, stubble looks smashing.

Day Fifteen

Have caught sight of Q. Beast! Expert tracker me! Apparentally pixies still disagreeing with it. Called out several times, but appeared not to hear over sound of own stomach. Will get closer tomorrow. Spent evening polishing sword until sleepy.

Day Sixteen

V. bad day. Q. Beast not deaf, actually ignoring me! Claims big misunderstanding, just wants to be friends now. Followed it to local watering hole, where it flirted shamelessly with local pretty boy knight. The blaggard! Will kill him if he tries anything.

Day Seventeen

Caught knight looking to hook up with Q. Beast again. Challenged to duel, smote him good. Knight not so pretty without head. Ha! Go me! Bonus: smiting reduced urgent need to polish sword.

Day Eighteen

After waiting in rain for three hours, managed to casually run into Q. Beast at watering hole. Acted quite cool, just said hello. Q. Beast practically drank and ran. Managed to keep kingly cool by not chasing. Good thing too, as caught another knight skulking around. Claimed was old friend of Q. Beast from back home. Blaggard. Smote him too.

Day Nineteen

Yet another knight. Smote him as well. Q. Beast quite the slut. Setting up camp.

Day Twenty-Three

Knights smote: 12. Q. Beast gigantic slut.

Still king.

Day Twenty-Five:

Knights smote: 19. Smiting not helping anymore. Miss slutty Q. Beast, even queen. Hoping local maid will stop for water, offer to polish sword. No luck. V. depressing.

Day Twenty-Six

Horrors! Knight showed up claiming to be *another* king, despite lack of kingly stubble. Had sugardaddy in tow claiming to be wizard. Doubtful as lacking pointy hat. Impressive staff, however. Both denied knowing Q. Beast, but have doubts. Q. Beast obviously realized knights no subsitute. Once you go king, you never go back!

Later:

Stubble-less king challenged to duel. Accepted, broke his sword. Perhaps spent too much time polishing? *snigger* But before could smite wizard suckerpunched from behind, perhaps with staff. Unkingly cheat! Woke up with massive fegging hangover, armor loosened in curious places. Name Arthur scrawled inside breastplate with address in Camelot. May pay call later, as seemed nice otherwise.

No longer only king?

Day Twenty-Seven

Q. Beast returned. Happiness short lived when presented w. restraining order. Crushed. Q. Beast not only gigantic slut but heartless bastard. May move & change name. However, uncertain if would still be king, even with crown and stubble.

(to be continued...)

Back to Camelot