Dialogue for Two Imaginary Voices

 

You should go to bed.

I’ll just finish watching Star Trek: Generations. I would’ve been done by 10, but Karina called. You can’t turn down a phone call from Australia, right? I’ll just finish the movie. It’s only 10:00 or so. I don’t have to be up tomorrow.

You should go to bed.

I would, but as I was rewinding the tape I caught a bit of this movie that’s on. And while it may not be brilliant, it has English literature, British people, and references to Cyrano. How can I resist? And I think the hero might be the same guy who was in Four Weddings and a Funeral. I’ll just watch it for a while. It’s only 11:30.

You should go to bed.

I will, I will. Just let me do a quick e-mail check. It’s only 1:00.

You should go to bed.

But I realized that half of this e-mail is stuff I need to print out, and the cable modem is back up. Who knows if it’ll be up tomorrow? It’ll be much harder to print if it’s not (complicated reasons). Better to just get it done now. It’ll just take a few minutes, and it’s only 1:45.

You should go to bed.

Please note that half my e-mail is dealt with now (or at least printed). Look how much emptier my mailbox is. Isn’t that satisfying? I could get a lot more done tonight, you know. It’s really quiet at 2:00 a.m. I’m wide awake. I could finish that story. I could write a new story. I could deal with all the new magazine mail. I could catch up on all the CS mail. I could clear my desk and finish unpacking and do those damn dishes. I could finish pruning the dead bits off my plants (Kevin didn’t kill any of them, but some are in sad shape). I could exercise. I could reinvent myself.

Go to bed. Just go. If you stay up, you know what you’ll do? You’ll futz around for another hour or two; you’ll get over-tired; you’ll convince yourself that Kevin doesn’t love you anymore, or that nobody does; you’ll undo all that good rest you got earlier; you’ll get frustrated that you’re not really getting anything done. And in the morning, you’ll wake up even later that you already will, which will throw off your schedule for the day, which will make it even harder for you to get up at 6:30 a.m. Friday to teach class. Once you lie down and close your eyes you know damn well that you’ll be asleep within ten minutes. So go to bed!

All right, all right. Sheesh. I *said* I was going…

 

*****

 

6/1/2000