The Lover Speaks, Again

What can I do to shape myself the kind

Of man you want, the kind for whom you’d stay?

Shall I turn sullen, brooding, darkly fey —

The type that had you left would have pined

Away to nothingness? You might then find

You liked me somewhat brighter. Speak, love, say

Whom you desire. I could be shining, gay

With dazzling wit — wouldst love me for my mind

Alone? Silent still. Your silence speaks —

Pained eyes averted from this wretched blight;

These sunken depths. I have become a sham,

Disgust myself. This weakness in me reeks;

Yet still I vow, “I could have shone so bright

If only you had loved me as I was.”


M.A. Mohanraj

September 9, 1996