part 1

The Very Secret Diary of Parzival

Day 1

Yes, have decided on new name, new life. Distance self fr. weasel of "father" Evrawc. Stupid brothers all taking his side, no surprise. Was v. surprised, tho, to be stuck w/ herding goats. Thought Mother excused me fr. arms training to help me pursue own creative path. V. vexing. Goats disrespectful, not nearly as fun as deer. Still less bruises than jousting.

Day 2

Goats possibly fun differently than deer. Will have to ask hind friend about this.

Day 3

Hind knew all about goat thing.

Day 4

Mother serious re: non-violence -- caught me admiring fit of Father's chainmail across shoulders, v. disapproving. On plus side, stupid br.s all left to be knights. All adds up to: No more swords to polish. Yay!

Day 5

Saddles now nixed, too. Yes, & stirrups, bridles, &c. Am v. ambivalent.

Day 118

Life unspeakably dull -- nothing new since last entry. Mother still beyond unreasonable re: swords thing. Hate to admit, Tor correct about the mead.

Day 260

Even fun w/ hind & hart friends become routine. Oddly nostalgic for leather smell. Consoling self w/ sneaking sword to room & polishing for old times' sake.

Day 277

Heard weaselly Father changed name to 'Gahmuret', pretending not to know Q.B., gone back to smiting, may be dead. Strangely unaffected by news -- rather not think re: Father's shame. Sword under bed somewhat flimsy w/ over-polishing.

Day 391

Something different! Three knights stopping over for weekend fr. Round Table of Arthur in Caerlleon. Mother making big point of calling them angels, thinks I forgot what swords are. Hndsm yng knight asked whether have sword of my own, but Mother listening, so played dumb.

Knights say Father back together w/ Q.B., changed name again. To 'Pellinore'. Whatever.

Day 392

Rotten luck -- caught hanging out w/ deer friends while supposed to be tending goats. Much fuss made. Visitng knights think me v. clever, but Mother tight-lipped. Will be hell later.

Day 395

Have run away with knights, no time to write past days. Upshot: Mother drunk & ex.ly vile re: deer & me, positively. not. listening. to my side. Could not bear! Insisted it not That Way, but in end no choice but leave.

All saddles, bridles long gone, luckily had secretly made some from twigs &c. (gifts for deer, alas). As Mother still in denial re: me owning sword, forced to arm self w/ forks from kitchen. Confusing parting advice from Mother re: gems, food, maidens.

Knight Owain (dreamy) thinks me quite the young stag. His words!

Day 422

"Sir" Owain unbearable. Never lets me get a word in, gives stupid advice. Cannot bear write condition of his sword. Am sneaking off to Caerlleon by self.

Day 428

Unforseen trouble: cannot get directions to Caerlleon! Slightly regret tiff w/ Owain, as must admit he is v. good-looking, also likely not lost in woods at moment.

Day 430

Stumbled on tent in woods. Met maiden named Jeschute inside tent. Mutual friend of white hind! Missing hind horribly. Learned many things fr. maiden, like: Caerlleon is aka Camelot! Now much less confusion.

Speaking of confusion, followed Mother's advice re: gems &c. to the letter. Am now plus one full stomach, one v. pleasant female acquaintance, one quite fetching ring. No visible downside -- who knew? Am changing name again to avoid possible unpleasantness w/ Owain at Camelot.

(to be continued...)

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