The Very Secret Diary of Morgause, Queen of Lothian & Orkneys Pt 1

Day 1

Today was birthday. Am 14. Go me. Mum gave me diary. Said my thoughts will be v. valuable one day. Humph. Not sure how valuable if never get to leave bloody Tintangel and if always have bloody nuisance Morgan in tow. Thinks she's soooooo special because she's the "baby". Double humph.

Day 10

Kissed random castle guard yesterday. Figured am 14, could be married off to drooling old geezer any day now, may as well make most of youth and beauty before entirely wasted on said geezer. Castle guard said am v. luscious. I knew that. Morgan spied - annoying little brat. Had to agree to go wasting time in woods picking herbs to get her to shut up & not tell mum. Hmm....annoying little brat says herbs can be v. good for complexion and hair. Must keep in mind for future when not so young and luscious anymore.

Day 11

Castle in uproar. Father got back w/ army today. Taking mum to London to meet King. Asked if I could go along, meet hunky knights/new kissing experiences. Was told to stay home and take care of ragamuffin Morgan instead. Must go sulk now.

Day 13

V. nice with no parents. Locked Morgan in tower. Am now free to kiss guards as I will. V. v. nice this home alone stuff. Had entire selection of off-duty guards in bower yesterday. V. amusing. Could get used to being on own with boytoys.

Day 20

Let Morgan out of tower on promise she go play in the woods today. Hurrah! More time in bower with random cute guards for me.

Day 22

Father and mum back today. Am in tower sulking. Miss guards dreadfully. Also, Morgan came home with burrs in hair from sleeping in woods. Father spanked me - kinky. Still no news on a husband for me. Can't believe am expected to waste my youth, beauty and sheer raw sex appeal (hereafter S.A. if mum reads this!) on guards in Cornwall. UGH.

Day 23

Caught mum crying. When asked, denied everything. Heard her muttering "Uther" under her breath. Granted, is married to old geezer (father) herself but still. Tried to deflect attention from new wear spots in stairs up to my tower. Told mum was v. busy gathering herbs, and would she like some tea to take her mind off this Uther-chap. Suggested she get Father out of castle before he notices.

Day 26

Plan worked! Father off declaring war on the high king. Down side, no more spankings. Up side, more hunky guards in castle. Even some in chamber "guarding royal person".

Day 30

Father snuck home late last night to see mum. Or so scuttlebutt says. Official report says Father killed in battle late last night. V. odd. If not Father sneaking in to bonk mum last night, then who was it?? Maybe Morgan saw. Little blighter sees everything.

Day 31.

Situation getting weirder. Mum now going to marry this Uther. Turns out he's High King. Ooh la freaking la. Am displaced from favor as daughter of rebel Duke killed by King. Maybe no more geezer in my future? Maybe no more guards to play with either if not royal enough to need them. Ugh. Must not think about that, does not bear contemplating.

(to be continued)

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