The Very Secret Diary of Sir Launcelot, Part 1

Day 1

Am finally going to escape the Lake! Have convinced Lady that am adult, and ready to see the world. V. exciting. Am looking v. forward to smiting enemies -- am tired of smiting trees, bears, water-monsters and illusions. Looking for new challenge. Have told maidens that I will be leaving. Much tears and offers of sword polishing. Do not understand why swords need so much polishing, but am patient. Tomorrow we leave!

Day 2

Am still waiting to leave the Lake. Lady has given me spiffy new armor to wear. V. v. nice. It smells a little fishy, but she promises that will fade with time. She also decided a good sword polishing would help me forget. After she was asleep I managed to steal two units of faerie dust. Will add to stash for later partying. Lady promises to leave by sundown. Says name of Fitzroy or Noname is no longer what I should be called, but now am Launcelot. She then laughed and demanded more sword polishing time. Fear new name is stupid.

Day 3

We have departed! Lady says am going to a place called Camelot. Does not sound like place of much smiting. V. disappointing, but must be better than Lake. Am still not sure about so-called Camelot. Name almost as stupid as Launcelot, but does not seem to elicit similar laughter. Will look into this. Journey will take many days, which is a little vexing. Still, is fine, since it means I get to see the world. So far is v. green. New armor rubs funny. Lady says she will make me feel better when we stop to camp. She also says she thinks my sword needs polishing.

Day 6

Sword polished: 3 5 6 times.
Smite count: 1 squirrel, 2 3 trees, 1 deer
Still not at Camelot. Lady promises I shall like it there. Feeling sullen. Maybe time to smite something. Still lots of green. Realize now that I don't like green. Trees are stupid.

Day 8

Camelot is in sight -- we should reach it by nightfall. Basically building made of big blocks. Lots of grey, which seems preferable to green. Not sure if am dissapointed or not. Glad journey is almost done. Lady switched to riding side-saddle, and does not seem to be enjoying the trip nearly as much anymore.

Day 9

Am now in Camelot, in v. nice room, w/soft bed. Met Arthur, who Lady says is King of this place. Seems to be v. nice fellow, said something about a "new place to rest my sword." Am looking forward to discovering what he means. Found his stubble strangely attractive, will have to attempt same.

Day 10

Was knighted today. When asked to draw sword, was momentarily confused as to which sword Arthur meant. V. embarrassing. However, when challenged, was able to smite most effectively, which seemed to impress the knights. Go me! When they asked me where I was from, I said the Lake, so they have called me Launcelot du Lac. Knights did not laugh at name, but rather look somewhat concerned. Am definitely prettiest one here, as knights appear to be mostly ugly folk. Have had six offers of sword polishing, and Arthur has a strange glint in his eye. Believe I shall like Camelot. Lady says she will be leaving tomorrow. Am looking v. forward to pursuing own interests. Am also looking forward to touching stubble.

Launcelot, part 2

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