It’s been kind of…

It's been kind of miserable and exhausting here, honestly. The week of sickness set us both eight days behind on work, eight days we couldn't really afford to lose. And now the semester is winding up to its dramatic conclusion (many papers to grade) at the same time as we're trying to pack to move. The number of things left to buy for the house is increasing (as we remember things we'd forgotten, like child guards for their bedroom windows, and fencing, and ceiling fans), just as our amount of savings rapidly decreases. There is neither money nor time for some of our traditional methods of relaxation, including just having downtime alone and together. It's all building up to a perfect storm of just too much to deal with.

We're trying to keep our eyes on the prize and just get through the month, and it does help that the weather is improving, but it's happening in fits and starts. Sunday was unseasonably warm, and then yesterday was windy and cold again, which is just disheartening. I'm waiting for spring in all kinds of ways, and I think it's coming, I do. But it's slow.

I had an event at work yesterday, which went well, which was good. And then, on the train home, I wrote a tiny folktale for Kate Bachus, "Hunting for Mangoes," payment to her in trade for inclusion in her next yarn-dyeing club. It's vaguely in the world of my YA fantasy trilogy, although there's no actual magic in this story. It felt so good to write, even if just for a little while. The story is silly and cute, and I should write such things more often. Antidote to all the Serious Literature that I am failing to write for a multitude of reasons right now.

I even have an idea for an accompanying pattern for a simple colorwork scarf, alternating rows of elephants and monkeys. I think just at the bottom edges, with a few stripes, and then basic stockinette through the body. I hope I can find time to try to design it, and knit it, and write it up. As it is, I promised months ago to participate in an Alice in Wonderland exchange (limit $35 of themed gifts, including at least one knitted item), and I bought the items, but am still only most of the way through a pair of gloves. Do I just finish that glove and send her the second in yarn to knit herself? I think her skills are up to it. Or is that rude, and I should just somehow find the time this week (it's already a week late) to do the second glove? I've never participated in one of these before, and I don't know what the etiquette is.

Anand turned eighteen months a little over a week ago, and just as with Kavi, that seems to be a turning point for me, the age at which I start liking the children more than disliking the amount of labor that comes with them. I am not a baby person. He's adorable now, fast and funny and loving to just fling himself at us for hugs and snuggles. He babbles constantly, and I suspect there are quite a lot of words in there, even if I don't understand most of them. Kev understands him better. Unfortunately, Anand's had some trouble sleeping lately, which is not helping anyone. Poor little guy seems so distressed, and we don't know why he keeps waking up. Just sleep, baby. Everyone will be happier. I expect with the move, they're both going to be difficult and weepy and sleep badly for at least a week or two after we get into the house. Sigh. Poor munchkins.

I've packed up my china, which at least makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something. That's one of the more annoying things to pack, so having it done is helpful. Serveware next, also annoying to pack. Then art / craft supplies, because I'm unlikely to have time to do any of that in the next month. And so on.

I'm exhausted today -- Kev and I were up 'til past midnight talking over finances, trying to figure out how to make it all work without compromising too much on the things we like. IKEA butcher block counters instead of soapstone. Bare bulbs for some months in many of the rooms. Skip the ceiling fans for now. The cheapest metal heat vents. Can we manage without a fence? If we don't add soil to the badly-compacted back yard now, what will be the long-term consequences? If we don't add mulch to the front yard ditto? And so on.

And then I set my alarm for 4 a.m. and got up to finish grading the mid-term exams, hopefully before the children wake up. Thank the gods for music, and tea. I don't know how I'd get through otherwise.