It’s been a weird 24 hrs. I got really stressed and weepy around this time yesterday, and I didn’t really know why. Couldn’t sleep for hours, etc. Got up and went in to staff the studio, but ended up texting Kevin and asking him if he could come hang out there because I was sad and lonely (very unusual ask for me). He did, and we ended up calling Jed and spending 90 minutes starting to fix the problem of my hacked website (it’s complicated), so that was annoying (and I cried once when Jed said I seemed stressed and I tried to say that yes, I was), but on the plus side, it does look like we’ll be able to fix it for significantly less money than I feared (more like $400 than $1300). So that’s good.
***
Kev and I have been trying to figure out why I’m so wobbly. We have three theories:
– after finishing writing a novel, or any big book project, there’s typically a crash. It’s a big exhilarating rush to the finish, and afterwards, many writers just fall down go boom afterwards. Especially when they realize that now they have to sell the damn thing, and that’s going to be no fun. So last week was the big rush to the store opening, so it’s not surprising if I crashed some afterwards, especially as I face the reality that it’s going to take a while to build up any decent traffic at the studio. (That’s a separate post, maybe tomorrow. I’ll give you numbers. Currently sad numbers, but they should improve. I think.)
– also, I started the Wegovy pills a week ago, and any new med can mess with your system, so it’s possible they’re making me a little wobbly.
– plus, the political news is just…just UGH. I am trying not to consume much of it, but every bit of it seems pretty awful and it’s just getting to me, peeps. Even my relentless optimism is taking a beating on that front.
Maybe it’s all three.
***
Anyway, Kevin and Jed took care of me, and we made progress on fixing the awful tech stuff, and towards the end of the day, a few people actually came in and said nice things about the store (Kendall, if you’re reading this, you really brightened my day. Thanks!), and one of them even bought some snowdrops, so that cheered me up a bit.
Then I came home, and spent an hour on the phone with Kavi, which started out with me still pretty stressed, but chatting with her slowly calmed me down too. She’s the best.
And then I had dinner (food good. food important.), and then I decided I should work on regulating my nervous system, so I took a long hot bath, with bubbles and candles and a good book (Mr. Penumbra’s 24-hr Bookstore by Robin Sloane), and an hour of that helped too; I feel more like myself.
Kevin is making me some popcorn by request, and then we’re going to watch TV — probably The Pitt, and then Abbott.
And tomorrow is my day off, so I will do laundry and water the plants and maybe get my dahlias started, IF I feel like it, or maybe I’ll just veg. and play video games all day, and that is a fine choice too.
*****
“You must finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could — some blunders & absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as fast as you can, for tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it well and serenely, and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” — Emerson
