I was watching a reel yesterday, talking about whether women really want to be tradwives, or whether what they really want is the luxury of time — time to work at their own pace, time to rest as needed.
And okay, I’m trying to motivate myself to face a pile of paper grading this morning that I don’t want to do (I’m not even thinking about what percentage of the papers will be AI-generated; I just don’t like grading papers — I’d much rather talk about the stories and ideas with my students…).
The idea of playing with flowers is definitely more appealing! (Pictured, hellebores and orchids collected for drying.)
But that’s labor too — after just an hour of gardening or crafting, my lower back is often aching. After a few hours, my hands are cramping. It’s a joy, certainly, to be able to do something creative for my work, and to be able to do some of it outside, when weather permits, and to work at my own pace.
But I think the actual tradwife life is highly labor-intensive — anyone who has tried to get a decent tomato harvest around here knows how often farming ends in disappointment after many hours of work. The fantasy of tradwife life, especially the outdoorsy farm version, is mostly a fantasy of less labor, not just different labor. It’s a fantasy of wealth.
And that’s fine too — we all need to dream a little. And if you can rearrange your labor so that it suits you better, and you’re in an environment that is happier for you, that’s terrific. Go for it! I’d love to see everyone (who wanted to) able to make their living with creative pursuits.
I just worry about the young women who look at the videos and think it looks lovely and natural (and isn’t ‘natural’ such a loaded concept for women?) and most of all, EASY.
How many of them give up on paid work outside the home, thinking they’re going to get a better deal as a tradwife? How many of them will be exhausted and body-battered, ten or fifteen years from now, without the job skills and employment history to be able to switch to outside paid work?
You can probably always quit your job to go try to homestead; I’m not sure it’s so easy to go the other direction.
Sorry, in a fretful mood this morning. Worried about my students, worried about my kids, worried about America (and very unclear what I can do about that last one).
Look, here are some pretty flowers. The hellebores will mostly go into tables and trays; the orchids, I’m going to try to make into jewelry, I think, though they may be a little large? We’ll see.
Not this morning, though. This morning, I’m probably going to post some more photos while I wait for the tea to kick in, and then, I need to grade papers.
