Cancer log 124: I’m…

Cancer log 124: I'm afraid my parenting has really gone into maintenance-mode the last several months, and the kids have....well, maybe not suffered, exactly, but I do think it's affected them, even with Kevin doing double-duty as much as he can. The kind of parent I am when exhausted / in pain / absent for treatment is very different from the kind of parent I am normally. I still don't know how the coming six weeks of daily radiation will affect me (starting soon); I gather the fatigue is notable and cumulative. But while I have the energy, I want to more actively parent to the best of my ability. A bit more discipline than they experienced this past slack summer, but also more active playing and snuggle time.

Kindergarten has proven surprisingly stressful for Anand; they have behavior charts at school, mostly having to do with remembering to raise your hand before talking, sitting still on the rug, etc., and all the rules have been difficult for him; he's currently about evenly divided between greens, yellows, and reds. He's also acting out more at home the last few weeks, shouting, "It's not fair!" a lot, even for things that have nothing to do with being fair, running away when we call him to do something he doesn't want to do, etc.

Mostly, I think this will pass in a few weeks, as Anand gets accustomed to the new routine. But I think one new goal of mine is to try to make sure he goes to bed happy every night, with snuggles and smiles and something nice to look forward to in the next few days. Particularly easy to manage the latter this week, since it's his birthday on Thursday, but little things like promising to read a book together or walk to the park should also work just fine. Some positive energy to balance out all the hard work he's doing in school.

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