Cancer log 46: Sometimes you write long essays like the last piece. Sometimes, you just note that you fell asleep reading a good book, but woke up at 2 a.m. thinking about the clinical trial decision, and didn't manage to get back to sleep. I've talked to some family about it, thought about it a lot, am hoping to talk to a few more doctor-type people today. Very on the fence at the moment, and wishing I could talk directly to my doctor for ten minutes -- there are a few things I wish I'd thought to ask her on Friday. This is why doctors don't give out their cell phones to their patients -- they'd be getting stressed out phone calls at 2 a.m. on a Saturday night. It can wait 'til Monday morning; I'll ask her my questions (with the new biopsy results, what would you consider my staging / prognosis now? do you know anything about the actual efficacy of the investigational agents in this particular trial?), and then I'll make my decision. Fret fret fret.