I’ve been sort of…

I've been sort of desperately trying to make new friends. I know, I have plenty of friends. Great friends. But they are mostly not here. (Roshani is moving back to River Forest (next neighborhood over) tomorrow! Yay! But then she almost immediately leaves for a month of vacation. Boo!)

I have made some new friends here, like some of the members of my writing group, who are awesome. I like them muchly. But we are not currently / yet at the level when I can call them up at 8 p.m. and weep into the phone that Kevin is driving me around the bend and can we PLEASE go out and get tea or something stronger so I can weep all over them for an hour? (In case you were worried, that was two nights ago, and it was a passing thing, and Kev and I are back to being awesome again. These things happen in a long-term relationship; you learn not to take them too seriously, but at the same time, they still suck when you're in the midst of them.)

And maybe it's having various college friends visiting that has thrown the issue into high relief, but I find myself really wanting to accelerate the close-friend-making process. But you can't rush these things. Remember that thing I posted a few days ago? Close friendships apparently rely on:

a) frequent, unplanned encounters
b) emotional vulnerability
c) some third thing I can't remember, but it doesn't matter, because I already completely fail at a.

I am totally willing to be emotionally vulnerable! See weeping at you above. But I have no idea how to fit frequent unplanned encounters into my current life.

I was feeling frustrated enough about it that I actually went to two different social groups tonight -- from 7-8, I tried a new gaming store which had open game night, and from 8-9, I tried the new knitting store, which had open knit night. And....I dunno.

Both activities were fun, in themselves. I played a new-to-me game, The Resistance, which is sort of Mafia-style, but a 30 minute or less board game that you can learn really fast, so that was vaguely fun. And everyone there was very nice and welcoming, but the other five people were also clearly in their mid-20s or so, and I'm guessing it was a little weird for them playing with someone who seemed like their mom. It was all kind of stiff and awkward. And while, judging by their t-shirts, we clearly have shared geeky interests, I'm guessing we're not at similar life stages.

And then I went to knitting, and per usual, knitting was mostly women my age or older (more than a dozen of them), and there was plenty of talk of textiles, good, as well as entertaining general conversation, and I had a good time, and I actually got eight rows done on the scarf-that-will-never-end (gazillion rows of garter stitch), which was progress, and knitting itself was soothing, so that's all good, and I will likely go back to hang out with these people again. But the one eleven-year-old girl there (someone's granddaughter) asked at one point if anyone else watched Dr. Who, and there was a dead silence until I chimed in. Sigh.

This is what I want. I want my college / convention crowd here in Oak Park, please. The geeky gamer / writer people of my own age, and if they're into crafting and/or cooking and/or gardening, even better. If not the actual people, then people just like them. There have to be some in Oak Park; it's that kind of place. There are probably a ton of them, and some of them might even be interested in doing things like progressive monthly dinner parties and/or weekly board game or poker nights. I just have to figure out a) how to find such people, b) how to schedule unplanned and frequent interactions with them, and c) how to weep all over them without freaking them the hell out.

Oof. Okay, that has been your completely unscheduled vent for the week. Really, my life is awesome, and I know it. It is almost perfect. There's just this one weird hole in it.

Well, that and the fact that I could use another book deal.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *