Caroline was a cheetah. Edward was a football player. I asked if he wanted to bring his little Nerf football with him for the Halloween preschool parade and he said no, he wanted to bring the bulldozer transporter. This is an unusual prop within the football context and his masquerade was further complicated by the fact that Edward, when asked, would say he was dressed as a panda bear.There are days when I would very much like to wail, just like that. Go, Caroline.
And they were excited, my god. Caroline spent the entire drive to school talking about how much fun it was going to be and the parade and the costumes and Edward practiced growling. You know, like a panda bear. When we arrived in the classroom 100 percent of the children were in costume and 95 percent of them were in hysterics. Caroline took one look at the sea of weeping princesses and opened her mouth and HOWLED. Edward - who is skeptical about the advisibility of my leaving him at school on the best of days - twisted himself around my legs like a python and refused to release me so I had to shuffle towards the cubbies three inches at a time. Caroline followed, wailing, "I feel very sad! I am upset; I am more than upset! This is terrible! I should go home! I feel worried and angry!"
And then, about her older son:
Patrick was a spacetime portal. I originally asked if he was a portal through time or space and he gave me the look that Oxford dons used to reserve for the more feebleminded of legacy scholars and asked as sarcastically as one can address one's sainted mother how I proposed a person could travel through space without also travelling through time or - more laughably still - was I suggesting time travel could bypass space altogether?Somehow, he reminds me of Karen's Jeremiah.