Kavi: “Tag, you’re…

Kavi: "Tag, you're it!" (shouted as she tags her brother, me, the dog)

Me: "Kavi, do you play tag at school?"

Kavi: [brief silence, then] "My friends don't want me to play."

She doesn't know how to refer to the other kids other than to call them her friends. The other kids are mostly boys, some of whom are very rough and tumble. Some days, there are also a couple of girls who are older and stronger than she is, one of whom likes to push Kavi and pull her hair. Kavi is one of the youngest in her class, which ranges from ages 3-6. She has no idea how to play rough.

She's generally liking school a lot better now -- today she told Kevin that she wanted to stay at school forever. (She also said she wanted to sleep on the couch. And that she wanted me. And that she wanted to have her big bed at school. Her desires are many and varied.)

But after three weeks, Kavi still doesn't have any actual friends at school. I watch her try to play with the kids when she gets there -- she runs up to Ian, or Robert, and says "Hi!" and tries to hug them hello, and they look bewildered, or even push her away. After a few tries, she gives up, and either plays by herself or walks over to stand near the teacher, Miss Liz.

Miss Liz tells me that another girl will be starting soon, who's also just three. I didn't realize that I would care who my little kids were friends with, but Kavi would be so much happier if she had a real friend at school. I hope the new girl is friendly and nice.

2 thoughts on “Kavi: “Tag, you’re…”

  1. Don’t worry. She’ll start to find kids to play with soon. Many kids at age three are still not developmentally ready to “make friends”.

  2. With Brynnen, we had some trouble with breaking into social sets. It helped to do some role playing at home where you talk through both parts so she sees how to do it. But it does take a while and patience. Good luck.

    Also on the cold post–what about a little warm herbal tea or even decaf English breakfast tea with sugar and milk. We used both of those with our kids.

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