And while we're happy to have the festival in May or June instead, the spaces aren't free to student groups over the summer, so this has become an expensive error, taking $1500 of our budget, which is basically what we had budgeted for publicity and/or food. And maybe we'd make up that money on ticket sales, but we can't know for certain until we finalize the date and the Guests of Honor and all and start publicizing.
And I suspect what we should really do is push it to the fall, when we can have the free space again, plus more time for planning, etc., but my fall is expected to be unusually busy, so that's not ideal for me, and it's tough on the students too, who understandably would like to do something fun soon, not wait eight months, especially since some of them are graduating and aren't sure what they'll be doing in the fall -- I'll lose my interns in May, as well, so there goes some of our free labor. I'm afraid we'll lose momentum and energy, but it's hard to weigh that properly against $1500 (out of a $10,000 overall budget, that's really a lot). Plus, Minal has a book coming out in March, and April/May would have been perfect for her, and that's not really a factor, but it makes me frustrated about pushing to fall.
Argh argh argh.
Any thoughts are welcome. Also, I need to do a DesiLit fund drive to raise money for the magazine. And my e-mail, which had gotten down to 50, is now back over 100, after only a week of too busy/sick to attend to it, which makes me want to scream. And I haven't written in weeks, which I think may be the real problem. How will I ever be as rich and famous as I secretly believe I deserve to be if I never write or publish anything again ever???
One of my students asked me after class yesterday, somewhat bewildered, whether between DesiLit and teaching and writing and having a small child at home, whether I wasn't awfully busy. And I said yes, yes I was. But that I loved everything I did, which made it okay. Which is true, in large part. But right now, I'm feeling like I'm spinning my wheels a lot, expending a lot of effort and stress (I woke up thinking about Kriti plannning, I dreamed about Kriti planning), to no good effect. It makes my head hurt. And the stress is so counter-productive -- it makes me not want to open my e-mail, or open a writing file, which of course means that less and less gets actually done. Which means...argh.
I don't even want to knit or crochet right now. That's how sad it is.
Folks, if I've written/done something you enjoyed in the last year or so, now would be a good time to tell me. Because right now, I'm feeling particularly useless.