1. I'm concerned about the tone; it starts off okay, but I'm worried that it seems too distant through much of the draft, and maybe too tense. Any thoughts you have on tone would be helpful -- do you want more emotion, more scenic description, more lush prose, etc.? Are there sections you particularly like or dislike the tone of? (I.e., the start of ch. 9 is very different from much of the rest -- different good or bad?)
2. There's a bunch of philosophical/contemplative stuff I'm hoping to get at with this book, but I haven't put hardly any of it in yet. Do you think it should be more woven in throughout, or are you still okay waiting for it at this point in the draft?
3. There are two major threads in the book -- one about home/ethnicity/nationalism, and one about love/sex/marriage. Right now, they probably seem unconnected to the reader. Is it okay waiting to connect them later, or is it too disruptive as it stands?
4. Structurally, the travel sections right now alternate with memoir, both chronological. Jed suggested that maybe there's no need for the memoir sections to be chronological -- that it might feel more natural/organic to just intersperse whatever chunks of memoir seem appropriate. I'm torn. Any thoughts on this would be welcome!
Still happy to add more first readers, if anyone else is willing to take a look and give feedback. The draft stands at around 67 pages right now.