You see, once there was a beautiful princess.
In a land very, very far away, and a long time ago.
Actually, she was in Chicago,
And she had shimmery golden hair, and skin as pale as milk,
And she was young and pure and innocent.
Asian female, age 20
Young, perhaps, but not that innocent.
The princess wore a long white dress.
A crown of pink rosebuds and goldenflowers.
Black jeans and a white lace tank.
Some might say she was looking for trouble.
She went to a neighborhood ball, but grew weary of the crowd,
And accepted a ride home with a handsome prince.
The frat party was dull and she craved excitement,
So she didn’t turn down the cute guy on the bike.
Suddenly he stopped the carriage in a forest glade,
And transformed into a hideous molesting beast!
They ended up in some bushes, and she went along at first,
But as he tore the white lace, she protested, in vain.
Luckily a passing prince rescued her, slaying the beast
And protecting her treasured maidenhead…
Saved? Yeah, right. He left her in the bushes
Until a stranger found her, and took her to the hospital.
They married amid great rejoicing in his castle by the sea,
And lived happily ever after.
Prognosis: Recovery doubtful.
What’s wrong? You want a happy ending?
What do you think this is?
A fairy tale?