Good morning, dears….

Good morning, dears. Sorry no entry yesterday -- I spent most the day cleaning and cooking (had friends for dinner last night) and so didn't log on much. The day went pleasantly, though I was fairly tired at the end of it. Made more injera and some Sri Lankan curries to go with it. The lemon/ chicken/coconut milk dish came out especially well -- the recipe is in the Complete Asian Cookbook, which I highly recommend to anyone interested in Asian food. (covers Sri Lanka to Japan to Singapore to...)

It's a beautiful day today, though it'll soon be too hot -- up into the 90's, from what I hear. The birds are chirping furiously outside. Karina gave Kev a bird feeder for Christmas, and I finally got it up a couple of days ago. Daily battles are being fought by the birds -- there are several trees outside, and at least fifty birds seem to live there -- cardinals, definitely, but I don't know what any of the others are. Lots of little brown ones -- Kevin says two we saw yesterday were doves, some birds with white necks and chests, but with black bits and mostly brown wings...I should get a book.

Am currently reading Prozac Nation. I'm not overly impressed with the writing style, but it's fascinating hearing about what it's like being severely depressed. I don't really get depressed like that -- stressed or worried or upset or sad, but usually for some specific reason -- not just depressed. I used to have a roommate who was manic-depressive, and some of the things she did to herself were really scary. I hate thinking about how many people are going around feeling like that all the time -- it must be terrible. I think I'd rather be really sad than really depressed -- at least I know I'm feeling something.

But that's a dreary topic for what's really a rather lovely day. I'm doing laundry now, (I actually kind of like doing laundry, 'cause I can feel productive while the machines do most of the work. :-) (Yes, I'm reading a book, but I'm also doing laundry!)) and when I finish, the plan is to go into my nice air-conditioned office and work on Metari Nights. If I'm really lucky, I'll finish the darn thing (though more likely, I'll just get the structural revisions done, and lucky to do that). Still, most of my other projects are going well, so I can't complain. My only concern is that I still seem to be tired all the time, despite the Synthroid. Got to do some more blood tests and see if they need to up my dose.

Oh, put some new stuff on the home page. Instructions for creating a web page. Lots of people ask me about it -- maybe this will help. It's all really pretty easy once you find a site.

Well, I'm going to go check my mail again (compulsive, I know. I alphabetized all Kevin's CD's the other day), and then go check the laundry. Have a great day, everyone! I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Yet another rushed note…

Yet another rushed note -- sorry sorry! Busy day at work, and I wrote a new story today, which will hopefully be in Floating Worlds, and anthology by Masquerade. I'm not sure if I like it, honestly speaking -- it's technically competent -- but I don't know if it really has heart...

I'm planning to come in and work on the weekend, so I hope to give you a better entry then. Happy Friday, everyone!

Sorry guys, but this is…

Sorry guys, but this is going to be quick. Busy day, and I spent way too much time on Holomuck (had a great time building a Book Museum, though). On the plus side, I did get that letter written yesterday. On the minus side, talked to Jeff (editor at Puritan) and he wants a rough of Metari Nights by Monday if I can manage it, and a final by mid-June. Considering I'm going to be out of town for ten of the days between now and then, that'll involve some scrambling. Life is otherwise good -- got a delicious ice cream sundae for 50 cents today (promotion at the hospital where I work), and plan to be lazy and relaxed tonight (skipping dance class 'cause the weather is grody). I started reading Prozac Nation last night, and I'll probably finish it tonight.

Good morning! Another…

Good morning! Another beautiful day, though it's clearly going to be warmer than yesterday. No complaints from me -- I got to wear the cute little summer dress I bought when I went shopping with Kirsten. :-)

Made more Ethiopian food last night -- I could easily get addicted to this stuff. Anyone know a good recipe for one of their spicy lentil dishes? (I admit, I can't stand lentils, but Kev likes 'em, and I'm trying to learn, since they're so good for you.) I made the vegetable stew again, but added the cabbage this time (skipped it the first time through). Don't know that it really adds anything. I think in the future, more green peppers, carrots and tomatoes, no cabbage. We'll see, though. I made a Sri Lankan chicken curry with it, which worked fine -- it's not so dissimilar from their Doro Wat. Somewhat different spices. And I used coconut milk -- so bad for you with its high fat content, but a real pleasure in curry. Why are the good things so often bad for you?? (Of course, there are plenty that aren't -- sunsets, butterflies, fresh fruit, safe sex...:-)

I did manage to get through about 40 mail messages yesterday that I'd had saved for days, so achieved one of my goals. Stared at Metari Nights a bit but didn't manage to revise anything, nor did I write the letter. I'm going to try to do one of those today. If I don't tell you I did tomorrow, yell at me.

Dinner at David's tonight. :-) I brought in leftover injera and curry for lunch, so I think I'll be glad of a change for dinner.

Hey, everyone! Brilliant…

Hey, everyone! Brilliant morning so far -- it's clear and cool and beautiful outside again, a perfect day for biking. My only complaint is that I had to come inside to the office instead of staying out in the sun. I forgot my glasses today (I wear contacts off and on, but my eyes have been bothering me a bit lately), so I have to sit about 1/2 a foot from the screen and squint. Very silly-looking. I tried to call Kev to see if he could swing by with my glasses, but he's either still asleep or gone already. Oh well.

I'm feeling slightly less panicked after getting so much work done yesterday, (though I still have piles of mail to go through). I've been ignoring buy blue kamagra newsgroups almost entirely, which is weird. I'd gotten so used to my daily fix of news...

Goal for today is to either a) get through a lot of mail, or b) revise and write a chunk more of "Metari Nights", the novella I'm doing for Puritan. It's not due till June, but I wouldn't object to getting the check earlier. :-). Also, I still owe that web site I'm writing letters for a letter, and I really should write it. I'm having a little trouble with it, 'cause he wants something fairly specific -- an inviting, teasing letter that's still R-rated, 'cause it'll be the intro to the section. We'll see what I can do. He thought my first attempt at it was too literary...

Hey, everyone. Managing…

Hey, everyone. Managing to squish this in at the end of a busy (but productive day). Had a great weekend hanging with Kirsten and relaxing and doing girl stuff...didn't get quite enough sleep but I'm going to try to make that up tonight.

Today I managed to finish revisions on a couple of stories, organize the manuscript (I had a really hard time deciding what order things should go in, and I'm afraid the final result is somewhat random, but it's done), sent the remaining unrevised stories to my writers group for final critique, and booked my plane tickets for the CA apartment-hunting trip. I'll be staying with friends, May 30 - June 9, but if any of you want to get together for lunch sometime, and will be in either SF, Oakland or Berkeley, drop me a line.

Got to get back to work -- have a great day, people!

Saw a funny quote in…

Saw a funny quote in John's .sig today:
"I believe that nothing completely satisfies an imaginative writer but copious and continuous draughts of unmitigated praise, always provided it is accompanied by a large and increasing sale of his works."
- Frederick Locker-Lampson, _My_Confidences_

Cute, huh? I hope y'all are having a good day. I'm very happy, 'cause Kirsten got in last night. Going to bike home at lunch today and have lunch with her, I think. Then back to work, dinner with her and David tonight, and then shopping tomorow! We may even drag Kev along for part of it. :-)

Life is generally good. It looks like they may have found a replacement for me at my day job (they started looking when I got into Mills), so in a couple of weeks I may be done here. I'll start temping then, I think. It looks like I'll be out of town in SF apartment-hunting the first week in June, so no diaries for about 10 days around then. Brace yourselves now, my little addicts. :-)

Still eating that leftover curry and stew with fresh batches of injera -- the recipe makes a lot! It'll be lasting me a while, I think. Anyone, got stacks of mail to get through (I've been so busy lately that I've only been answering the quick or urgent stuff, and flagging the rest), so I'd best get going. If I don't write again, have a lovely weekend!

Morning, everyone….

Morning, everyone. Quiet, productive day yesterday -- went over to David's after work and relaxed. Generally feel better and less fretful, though still busy busy busy. :-) Spent a while on the phone yesterday with someone interested in publishing the book! Guess the self-publishing idea is going on hold while I shop the manuscript around to see if anyone else is interested. Now I have to figure out how to write a query letter.

Kirsten's coming tomorrow! She has a conference in Washington, and so is coming early so she can come up and visit with us. I'm looking forward to her company, and the chance to go shopping with someone who really understands... :-)

Ate terrible leftovers yesterday. Ick. Should have taken David up on his offer of dinner. Got to go to the store today and stock up on some better food Hmmm...wish I had something more exciting to say, but it's just a quiet day. Neat quote someone sent me:

Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be chaos.

- I Ching

I find that extremely comforting. :-)

2:00 pm - Found a fabulous recipe section online - The African Cookbook. I'm going to attempt the fake injera and the doro wat and the vegetable stew for dinner tonight -- I'll let you know how they come out (mmmmm...injera....). (If you haven't had Ethiopian food, you must go out and try it -- no sick jokes, please. It's delicious).

Heya. Feeling better,…

Heya. Feeling better, though still a bit overwhelmed. I've been asking my writer groups for advice and they've been giving me publishers, so I guess the next step is to put the names in a list and draft a proposal. It just feels so arrogant -- saying, "I think you should publish my stories and poems 'cause I think they're good and I think they'd sell." I guess it's no more than what I've done sending stories to magazines, but it just feels so much bigger...

I was feeling so down yesterday that I not only skipped dance class but had dinner at MacDonald's. Paying for it now, as I don't feel nearly as healthy as I should. I should know better. Oh well -- everyone slides sometimes.

Found some inspirational reading at Border's yesterday, from a book by Bonnie Friedman called Writing Past Dark. (Also sat there and read the new Tanya Huff book, No Quarter -- much fun. :-) Here's a sample:

"'Why do we seek fame?' a student asks the spiritual teacher Krishnamurti, according to a book entitled Think on These Things.

'Have you ever thought about it?' he responds. "We want to be famous as a writer, as a poet, as a painter, as a politician, as a singer, or what you will. Why? Because we really don't love what we are doing. If you loved to sing, or to paint, or to write poems -- if you really loved it -- you would not be concerned with whether you are famous or not...Our present education is rotten because it teaches us to love success and not what we are doing. The result has become more important than the action.

'You know,' he continues, 'It is good to hide your brilliance under a bushel, to be anonymous, to love what you are doing and not to show off. It is good to be kind without a name. That does not make you famous, it does not cause your photograph to appear in the newspapers. Politicians do not come to your door. You are just a creative human being living anonymously, and in that there is richness and great beauty.'

"Just one thing saves me from envy: returning to my work. My desk is a quiet place. My hours there are like panes of clear glass. I sit down and try to hear my characters....Theirs is a separate world that waits while I rush about, fixing meals, making beds, getting jealous and unjealous and maybe jealous again....

"Envy is a con man, a tugger at your sleeve, a knocker at your door. Let me in for just a moment, it says, for just one moment of your time. It claims to tell the truth; it craves attention. The more you listen to it, the more you believe, the more you think you must listen. You must get the info on who is out there, how young the competition is, where they've been reviewed, what they've won, and what that means about you. The antidote to envy is one's own work. Always one's own work. Not the thinking about it. Not the assessing of it. But the doing of it. The answers you want can come only from the work itself. It drives the spooks away."

Long, I know, but worth reading. Reminding me of uncomfortable truths. I am too fond of the spotlight, I think, and excuse myself by saying it's my nature. The lights are fine, as long as they don't get in the way of your work.