It looks like we’ll be…

It looks like we'll be back in business soon -- hooray! I'm running behind right now, so I'll just leave you with two poems I wrote recently. My Renaissance Poetry class is definitely leaving its mark.


Have you noticed that a poet takes up pen
Most often when it seems his heart is breaking?
Anguished lines from poor, tormented men
Poured forth in a midnight's fevered making
On tear-stained sheets, unedited, and then
Read to each friend in voices rough and shaking.
"Woe and despair!" they cry, then write again
'Til you long to shake them, force their waking
From such fevered dreams. I will not use you so;
He loves me still! My house is filled with mirth
And gaiety; and even if I know
That he grows restless (soon I think he'll go),
The world is rich in men of higher worth.
I shall move on, and sing no songs of woe.


What can I do to shape myself the kind
Of man you want, the kind for whom you'd stay?
Shall I turn sullen, brooding, darkly fey --
The type that had you left would have pined
Away to nothingness? You might then find
You liked me somewhat brighter. Speak, love, say
Whom you desire. I could be shining, gay
With dazzling wit -- wouldst love me for my mind
Alone? Silent still. Your silence speaks --
Pained eyes averted from this wretched blight;
These sunken depths. I have become a sham,
Disgust myself. This weakness in me reeks;
Yet still I vow, "I could have shone so bright
If only you had loved me as I was."

Hey, everyone. Was too…

Hey, everyone. Was too depressed about the web page to write for a while, but yesterday I got mail from the Ireland people promising that the files are safe! Hooray! They haven't gotten them to us yet, but soon...

So, back to the diary -- it doesn't feel quite so futile anymore. Had a really good time at my sister's dance graduation performance -- I wonder how long it'll be before I can easily just plug in the video of her performance here so you can all enjoy it with ease? :-) Also managed to squeeze in a day with Kevin in Philly before heading back to CA -- lots of travelling, but worth it. It was his birthday Sunday, which worked out nicely. :-)

(Labor Day)Argh. I am so…

(Labor Day)

Argh. I am so frustrated by my Ireland site. I don't know yet why it's still down -- no response to my mail to the guy who provided it. All I can think to do is to wait and do these entries just in case. sigh. Am in the process of setting up multiple other sites so this doesn't happen again. :(

So, otherwise in my life, I am totally overcommitted. How did this happen? Current projects that I need to do, most of them soon:

  • Homework for Renaissance Poetry class
  • Start novel (Dreams by Lamplight) over again for fiction class
  • Plot out bdsm comic book I'm collaborating on
  • Translate at least one, preferably three of my stories to screenplays because several people have shown interest, one with funding, and that's not the sort of thing a wise writer who wants to make money ignores
  • Get going on the erotic horror novella for Puritan -- not due for a couple of months, but those things take me a while
  • Revise "Was It Good For You" for the book -- should probably revise the essays too.
  • Get the majordomo software up and running to the erotica mailing list.
  • Design their web pages.
  • Find out what the status of the magazine is from my lovely editors. Solicit more contributions.
  • Figure out some way to get my computer fixed. The disk drive is broken, which makes it seriously difficult to bring work home (sure, I can cut and paste it to the net, but what a pain. I don't have a car, so I'm not sure how I can get it to a shop -- I don't even know what kind of shop I need. :( And my friends with cars all work during the day, which is presumably when shops are open. Argh.
  • Call the phone company and have another line put in so I can log in from home. (This one actually shouldn't be too hard to do).
  • Oh, and for some reason I volunteered to design the web pages from Skiffy, my college science fiction club. Not only that, but I want them to be interesting, so it'll probably be a fairly complex design. I'll let y'all poke at it and give me comments once I get going on them.
  • Not to mention all the unfinished revisions lying around, the quest I haven't finished on Holomuck, etc. and so on...

Sorry again. Not…

Sorry again. Not entirely my fault, as I've been without computer access for quite a while (and my computer still hasn't arrived -- I just happen to be at my friend Thida's office right now), but I'm still sorry you haven't heard from me in so long.

The move went fine, but I find I have no desire to do a post mortem on it. Pennsic was also a blast (much storytelling, dancing, flirting, etc (well, not really any etc. for me, but there was plenty going on in camp, let me tell ya)), but it's a little hard to describe. Picture going camping in the woods for a week, but the campground is filled with pavilions, you get to dress like Queen Guinevere (or Arthur, or anyone from 600 to 1600 A.D., from any country that had contact with Europe (just about anywhere but Australia (and there was a big Australian contingent attending!)), and meet quite a few kindred spirits and eat cornish pasties (and lots of more modern food if you wanted (they really really could use a curry stand) and dance and sing and make really huge campfires (oh, and there was a war going on, which lots of people paid attention to, but I must admit, I didn't go to a single battle). If you want to know more about it, you should really hunt up the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) web pages -- they're called the Rhialto, I think.

Not much else to report -- Mills is lovely, but a bit dull since classes haven't started yet. In fact, I've been bored out of my skull (read five books yesterday, which is why I'm not giving you a rundown on the books I've read recently, though I must note that _Resurrection Man_ is much much better than I expected, though it gave me nightmares). Made banana muffins and lemon tea bread (would you believe there's a lemon tree in my backyard? And many many plum tomato vines?) and took the muffins to a birthday party that Thida and Cliff took me too today, so am feeling quite a bit better. Still a little lonely when I stop and think about it, but I suppose that's to be expected. Bonk me if I whine about it too much.

Can't wait for classes to start. Glad to be back. No access tomorrow, but if I can persuade the computers at school to work properly (they were having trouble Friday), I'll be back then. Goddess bless.

Hi, everyone. Oof — I’m…

Hi, everyone. Oof -- I'm going to have to get back to doing these more often -- there's so much to tell you from the last week. I'll try to go day by day and sum it up.

Friday night -- Elissa's bachelorette party. Several of us females (I won't name names :-) headed out to the Sugar Shack (the only strip club we could find in Chicago that featured male dancers for women). (NOTE: If you're doing a small group, it's much more cost effective to go out than to hire a stripper -- prices for hiring in were about $100 for 15 minutes, whereas we got a 3 hour show for $25 each, which included two free drinks and featured 5 different dancers, plus the waiters.) There were lots of gay clubs, but since one of the people coming was very nervous about the whole procedure, we thought it would be best to go someplace where we'd be surrounded by women. Turned out to be a good choice.

When you come in, you're met by a cute man in a tux, who asks for your ID, takes your money, and tags your wrist so they know you can drink. Then they lead you to a table (if you want one on the main floor, make reservations first!) and offer you a blowjob. *grin* Well, not really. A blowjob is a long tube filled with whipped cream and some sweet drink -- Kahlua, we think. One of the waiters sits you down, straddles your lap, firmly puts your hands on his butt and then gyrates a bit. The waiters were a lot cuter than the dancers, in our opinion, less bulky, and dressed in white t-shirts and black jeans, rather than silly little g-strings. Then he pours the blowjob down your throat and kisses you. The kisses started out brief, but by the end of the evening, they were getting hotter. If you paid them more, you could take off their shirt and rub your hands all over their nicely muscled chests.

I don't want to give away the whole show -- it was pretty silly, but kind of amusing nonetheless, especially watching the women on the main floor hooting and hollering. They were also groping the dancers pretty freely -- I know it's their job to put up with it, but I still found that kind of disturbing. I guess it's just that I wouldn't want to do anything sexual with anyone who didn't really want to be there...just personal squick, I guess. Still, it was a fun show -- the cowboy and the space man (complete with Star Wars music) were a bit much, but one of them was a really good dancer -- good enough that I'd have paid to see him in a regular dance performance. He made up for the others that just gyrated their way across the stage. If you go, be prepared to tip heavily. I think we spent about $10-15 each on tips, and we weren't asking for much. The most fun was watching our friend who'd started out really reluctant turn into a raving sex maniac. She was drooling, I swear. :-) After the show we grabbed some food and went home to sleep.

Saturday -- Do I remember Saturday? Mostly hung out at Roshani's, I think? Maybe? Moved my stuff over to Elissa's, since I was planning to crash there and give R&J their place back for a bit. Oh right, we went toy shopping, and then went back to E&B's to play games. Nuclear War, I think the game was called. Everyone died the first time. :-) I think Adam won the second round, but his population as decimated. Bryan and I made Ethiopian food for dinner, then I went to Steve and Lori's going-away party (silly, since they're going away to San Francisco, but I got to see people, especially Curtis, an old friend who just moved back to Chicago, and Katherine, who cut off all her gorgeous red hair!!!) Party went so late that I crashed there, stumbling back to Bryan's in the morning after 4 hrs sleep.

Sunday -- I definitely don't remember Sunday. Tried not to fall asleep, I think. Sunday night I went downtown to meet Lisette, my bestest friend, and we went back to her place to watch Star Trek. She handed me a slab of sausage and asked what I could doith it. Dinnerwise, that is. :-) No pasta, no bread, no tomatoes, no onions...just some rice and spices. We managed. Ended up staying up late talking, unsurprisingly. It seems like we never get enough time to just talk together...five hours sleep.

Monday -- Monday was hell. I had 9 boxes to haul around town, pack and unpack, no one available to help but Roshani, who wasn't feeling well and could only drive (Adam helped a bit, for which I'm eternally grateful), and the weather was painfully hot -- the worst it had been since I'd arrived. We eventually managed to get it all done, but ick. What a pain. Monday night we picked up Jordan and went to have dinner with my aunt and her family. It was great seeing the kids again! They've gotten so big, and the two oldest have e-mail now...

You'd think that was the end of the night, but no. Came back to Roshani's, and logged in briefly to check mail before sleeping (I admit, I'm an addict). Paul decides to 'talk' me (Paul is a sweet ex of mine). We end up talking on-line for five hours -- then the connection gets flaky and we switch to the phone for 2 more hours. Well worth it -- it was a messy breakup (my fault) and there were several things that hadn't really gotten dealt with. A very satisfying and ultimately pleasant call. But god, I was tired Tuesday.

Tuesday -- Basically travelling. Elissa drove me to the airport; quiet flight home; David met me at the airport. He took me home and fed me, and then I fell asleep at 7:30. Slept 13 hours.

Wednesday -- Tried to catch up on mail (snail and otherwise) and did a bit more packing. Basically a quiet day, though had to borrow some cash and rush to the bank to cover a check 'cause of some silliness financially. All's well now, though. Spent the evening reading a children's book from the library, The Far Side of Evil, sadly out of print, and talking to Kevin and watching tv. Reheated frozen pierogi with onions sauteed in butter and served with sour cream. Jalapeno cheddar pierogi -- surprisingly good. Fell asleep early.

Today -- Finally! Not much exciting to say. Catching up on backlog of mail (seems like I'm always doing that). Got very behind in some writing assignments -- did one today, and must do another tomorrow. Packed a box -- my closet is almost empty. Pretty much just my dresser left. Reading the first book of Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser -- Swords and Deviltry by Fritz Leiber. A fantasy classic -- I don't know why I haven't read these before. Have to find some time today to run Kevin's suit to the cleaners -- the wedding is Sunday. Roshani will be here Saturday morning -- she's staying with us for the weekend and attending the wedding. Oh, forgot to mention -- the bridesmaid dresses are lovely. Dark green, with white lace at the sleeves. Probably the best color for me Elissa could have picked. :-) Dinner with David tonight -- he promised me some of his yummy pasta sauce.

Heya. As you may have…

Heya. As you may have noticed, the diary is more erratic than usual these days -- it should settle down once school starts (August 21st). In the meantime, be patient with me.

So I'm on vacation right now in Chicago, visiting wonderful friends (in case any of them ever read this, hello Jordan and Roshani, Alex and Julia, Elissa and Bryan, Eugenie and Ben (who I haven't met yet, but hello anyway), Michael and James (well, James isn't here, but Michael's visiting, so :-), not to mention all of you I haven't seen yet at this point but who'll be at Lori and Steve's going away party tomorrow night....(okay, those last lines will be totally meaningless to the vast majority of you, but that's okay, right? :-)

Had fabulous Thai food Tuesday night (Thai Twin has changed its name to Thai Twee, goddess knows why, but I'm not going to complain 'cause the food has, if anything, gotten better). For some bizarre reason, Hyde Park currently has something like six Thai restaurants (one Chinese place, one half-Indian place (the other half is cajun, go figure). I don't understand it. But the Thai food is really good nonetheless. Wednesday night was Chicago-style pizza at Florian, also pretty good (they've gotten rid of that nasty sewage smell that was plaguing them for a while) and last night we met Lisette (remember her? I've mentioned her before) at Tucci Benucci downtown for Italian. Eating out more than is good for my wallet, but it's such fun. The Shells with Chicken, Mushroom, Sun-dried Tomatoes and a Mushroom Porcini Sauce with fabulous, as was the Portobello Mushroom and Roasted Walnuts appetizer Lisette and Roshani shared (and I sneaked tastes of). Good wine, too -- a red Classico Chianti, I think? Maybe? I know nothing about wines -- Lisette and Roshani picked it.

I really ought to start a separate food section on this page -- I talk about it so much. :-)

We had an oddly intense conversation about Sri Lanka and the war there -- Roshani knows much more than I do (and was there during the riots in '83) -- if we have time, I'll try to pump her for information to add here. Very disturbing, unsurprisingly.

Talked to Kevin last night and he says matters at home are well in hand, good. Kitten is getting much better (did I mention she had an infection and wasn't eating for days? :( ), so that's good. Hopefully she'll be all well by the time I get back (so I can pack the poor thing into a tiny box 11"x16"x17" and stuff on the plane for 8 hours with me).

Rest of the plans for the trip include a bachelorette party tomorrow night (Bryan and Elissa are getting married August 11th in Philly (her family's there) which is great, though a little weird, since Kevin and I got them together). We're actually going to a strip show, in the traditional fashion. I've never been to one before -- should be interesting, from an sociological perspective if nothing else. Maybe I'll get material for a story out of it. :-) After that it's the aforementioned going-away party, more hanging out with friends, packing up of some stuff I left in Roshani's dad's basement and shipping it to California, visiting Lisette again (she has the misfortune to live way up on the North Side rather than in Hyde Park (where all the cool people are :-)), etc. and so on. I'll be back in Philly the 6th, though I'll try to do another diary entry before then and tell you what the strip show was like.

> Hope y'all are doing well -- I'm pretty happy these days, though more than a little stressed and frantic. My ride to Pennisc just backed out on me, so now I have to figure out how John and I get to Cooper's Lake Campground on August 12th without a car (neither of us drives). Hope there's a train running the right way...

Ooh, I’ve been very bad…

Ooh, I've been very bad here. Sorry, but I've really had almost nothing to report but packing packing and more packing. Very sad. But I've got about ten boxes finished, and only a little kitchen and bathroom stuff (perhaps a box's worth) and some clothes left. Then I pack a suitcase for Chicago and one for Pennsic, and I'm done. With any luck it'll all be done before I go to Chicago. Oh, just so y'all know now, I'll be visiting friends there (and throwing a bachelorette party :-) from July 30th - August 6th, and at Pennsic (the SCA's annual war; camping in woods in medieval clothes :-) from July 12th - 18th.

I had a lovely birthday -- thanks to all of you who sent kind wishes. Much appreciated. :-) It was fairly quiet; lots of calls from family and friends, and Kevin and I spent the evening at home watching movies. Finally got to see the end of Pride and Prejudice -- Emma Thompson was, as expected, fabulous in this lovely film. Kevin liked it quite a bit too, so it must be good, since our tastes in movies are generally quite different. :-)

Had an interview with Debonair magazine yesterday. It was interesting, though I'm a bit worried that it'll be more sensationalistic than I'd have liked. Debonair is a popular Indian magazine, and the reporter was going at it rather from the perspective of here's a South Asian woman who's willing to talk about sex. Which is true, but rather lends itself to abuse. Well, he'll send me a copy -- let's just cross our fingers and hope.

Got some other good news yesterday, but I'm going to wait to tell you all about it until everything's confirmed. Wouldn't want to jinx things. :-) Stay tuned.

Hiya! Hope everyone’s…

Hiya! Hope everyone's having a good day -- mine has been very productive (though I must admit I haven't done the guidelines yet). I did, however, pack six boxes -- finished my books, games and half the kitchen stuff. Kitten got sick last night, and I had to take her to the vet. She's home now, though -- just a mild infection and antibiotics should take care of it.

Tonight is dancing, so I should get going. Plans proceeding apace for various trips and Sunday's birthday/going-away party (my birthday is Friday -- did I mention? :-)